My life scripted

It happened like this.



So, earlier today I was down in the basement doing laundry. (my life is realy exciting, I know)
But hey, nobody else is gonna do it.
Anyway, as I was folding the jeans, & hanging up shirts I noticed that is was strangly quiet.
Now, this is my week with my kids, and it's NEVER completly quiet when you have 3 young monsters in the house.
So I thought for a second.
Did they go outside?
No, the sliding glass door to the back yard is right above me, and I can always hear it open.
If you have kids, then you already know that absolute silence when you're absoluty sure they're in the house, is usually not a good sign.
So of corse I had to investagate.
I walked around the corner to the bottom of the stairs, but just befor I started up I heard voices.
The oddly hushed voices of all 3 of my kids interacting with eachother.
(Whispers can often be worse than silence, when you're a parent)
So sensing the opertunity to catch them in the act of,
well, anything.....I decided to procede with caution.

I stepped lightly up the first 4 steps, and leaned forward to better hear what was going on.


Kyle. (my oldest son). The guns, the tools, and the PS2.
Logan. My daughter) The computer, AND the printer.
Victor. (my youngest ) I got the house, & the knives.
Logan..The broom, the grill, and all the towels. Oh, and the hairdryer too.
Kyle.. Ok, the jeep & van, and all his hoodies.
Victor.. No I want the hoodies!
Kyle.. Alright, you can have the ones that're too small for me.
Victor.. Ok.
Logan.. I want the tv. The one in my room is broken. AndI should get all the kitchen stuff.

At this point I could hear most of what was going on, but couldn't understand what was happening at all. As I was trying to get a bit closer I stepped on the 5th stair (the one that creaks) without thinking.
But not to look the fool in front of my own kids, I kept going right up to the top so it wouldn't look like I had been paying attention at all.

As I topped the stairs & looked over the couch there they were, all huddled over the coffiee table. Each with a sheet of paper. Each with a pen in hand.
Me.. Whatcha doing, guys?
And they all met my eyes with the same sly half smile on their face.
After about 3 seconds of nothing my daughter broke the silence.

Logan..We're making lists of all the stuff we want when you die.
Me.. Oh? That's real nice!
Kyle..Dude, you ARE gettin pretty old (jokingly)
Victor.. Yeah, but we don't want you to die soon, or anything.
Me.. Whatever. (chuckeling)

So having found the situation to be a false alarm, I headed back down the stairs, & back to the laundry.
Back to hanging the shirts.
Back to folding the jeans.
With a bit of a smile on my face.I couldn't help but laugh, because as creepy as it might be, creepy is the one trait that they all got a LOT of, from the old man.

But like always, the peace didn't last long, & befor I was finished with the same load, the screaming started.

Logan.. Hey! Stop it!
Kyle.. Oh, I'm just kiddin.
Logan.. you're cheating!
Victor.. (laughing)
Kyle.. God. Quit being such a baby.
Logan.. DAD!!

Back up the stars I went. A bit faster this time. Already mourning the silence that for once, had turned out to be a good thing.

Me.. What 's the problem?
Logan.. He put something on my list when I wasn't looking.
Victor.. (giggling)
Me.. Kyle, did you do that?
Kyle.. Yeah, but I was just joking!
Me.. well, she didn't like it so don't do it again.
Logan.. You're a jerk!
Me.. LOGAN! It's over now, so let it go.
Logan.. But look what he did!!

She hands me the paper, that she had been making her list on. The paper which will surely cause me to have to re-dry the rest of the clothes, just to get the wrinkles out. The list of about fifteen items that she would like to lay claim to, upon my death, & felt so strongly about that she thought a binding contract was in order.

And there at the bottom, written in Kyle's slightly neater handwriting.
Spelled correctly, unlike most of the items she had put there herself. And in the black ink that he was using instead of the blue that she had. The one item that she could not stand to have on her list.

"The bills"




P.S. It's little moments like these with my kids,
that make my life wonderful.