Comments by Malcholm Dark
- "I love it. running away from something that will catch up to you sooner or later. great ending. Keep them coming."
Posted by Malcholm Dark on "Oblivion" by maggot death
- "A bit confusing, if cdoy thought something was not being said, the writer should have mentioned that. The phone again, if it is the only link to other people it should have been mentioned earlier. So far so good. write on."
Posted by Malcholm Dark on "The 13th year (pt.10)" by maggot death
- "Very good you are holding the reader into your story. The phone plays a big part in this tale so you need to describe your cell better in the earlier sections. Maybe you could have picked it up and listened, but no dial tone, like it didn't work at all. Then when it did work the reader would have been perplexed as you were. write on."
Posted by Malcholm Dark on "The 13th year (pt.7)" by maggot death
- "Your descriptions and conversations were top rate. I am enjoying the reads so far. The word jailee may not be the right word there. Try prisoner or even guest. "
Posted by Malcholm Dark on "The 13th year (pt.6)" by maggot death
- "Good, Good. When describe the girl, write it out unless you are reading it off the paper. You took the person away and her innocence and replaced it with a description. I like it so far. write on."
Posted by Malcholm Dark on "The 13th year (pt.4)" by maggot death
- "Well done. Again nice gloomy visuals and a sadness starting to settle in. I think the word, 'accept' might not fit there. Try deserve or something on that order. keep writting."
Posted by Malcholm Dark on "The 13th year (pt.2)" by maggot death
