These tears are deadly [loose pages in a journal]

You think that was funny? All the things you did to me?
Everytime you were wrong you burned ME with a cigarette.
Like snakebitten wounds pulsing venom, searing skin.

How about the stinging lash of leather, ripping flesh from bone.
Or the biting pain of wire wrapped around my hands, thrown in a corner.
I still shudder when I see two perpindicular walls; you did that to me.

The pain of a shovel, of a dislocated shoulder, you told them I fell.
How about a hammer to the hand, good thing I can still play guitar.

Remember when you broke my nose, and you told them we were playing catch?
Apparently I'm not good at catching glass ashtrays to the face.

How about when you slammed my face into the doorknob, I still have a scar.
My chin will be a constant reminder of how much you "loved" [to hate] me.

Or when I caught you cheating on mom. I was what 13-14? I still remember.
You cracked the passenger window with my head, then you told me you'd kill me.
I still told.

I remember the day you punched mom in the face.
Then you started to smother sis with a pillow. I still have the bat.
What was it, two broken ribs? Alot better then I came out of that one.
I don't even remember what happened next, just waking up in the hospital.
That's the day I pulled you close and said if you ever touched them again;

I'd cut out your heart in your sleep.

I took alot of shit from then on but you never touched them again did you.

I bet you started to regret all this as I got older.
How many times did I back down from you at 16? How about 17?
Funny how you can be a foot taller than me, and I'll still look you in the eye.
You taught me that; and I haven't waivered since.

So now tell me, are you proud of me; proud of what I have become?
I'm more of a man then you could ever hope to be.

You want to know what you really taught me.

1. How NOT to raise a family.
2. How NOT to treat women.
3. How NOT to be a father.
4. How NOT to be worthless.

More importantly I hope when you die, you get a one-way ticket to hell.
I hope they put you in front of a mirror so you can see what a monster you are.
I hope they make you watch as they rip your flesh off in strips.
I hope they laugh as flames lick at exposed muscle, and tendons.
I hope they cut out your eyes so your last visions are lasting memories of what you have created for yourself, and I hope they mutilate your ears so the last thing you hear are you screams being drowned out by the sound of every one of your bones being broken.

I hope you fucking rot for every sin you ever committed you sadistic son of a bitch.

Burn in hell mother fucker.