so it was wet and cold and felt like it might be a bit londonesque and i was really quite in the mood for a tall-thin boy with long hair and high cheekbones and perhaps an honest british accent but just so slight but you were the only one around so i pressed my forehead into the curve of your neck and reminded myself how lucky i was and you took that to be a sign of amorism and chose to kiss me hard on the mouth which rather disrupted my grey daydreaming about davey who's not british but would suit me well and i tried not to look cross at you because you really didn't know what you had done but grateful i was when you said that the subways in the background sounded like they were on the radio to which i replied we had no radio we were walking and not riding in a car like a couple of those highly-mobile elitist followers of capitalistic fascism and you said i know dear i know that's what makes it so interesting and at that point i really couldn't help but laugh since you've always been so awed by the simplest of things and you were kind enough to never make me explain the words i used as recklessly as your valuable emotions then i kissed your brow and took your hand and was proud that you would walk with me all the way down the slanted sidewalk with your shoulder to lean against so i would feel less alone and not pay so much attention to the dwindling away of everything i once loved in a bleak place that grew bleaker still i don't suppose we'll ever be getting out of here you were a bit dejected in your ponderings but it was more the sound of a long-loved dream scampering off down the alley to cower until it felt safe enough to come out again and this clever analogy i described to you in a comforting way hoping desperately to imply with my words i didn't think you a child or a hopeless dreamer to which you replied that you'll never really know when it's safe enough and it wasn't ever really safe enough to begin with not really not for truly living at all would it never be safe enough but that was the sort of price you were expected to pay these days unless you felt better about risking your soul for security and you'd feel bad if you died tomorrow without loving properly and that oh that made me stand up straight so that you kind of half-fell sideways before catching yourself having become accustomed to the constant pressure of me against you and i asked what you meant by that carefully sanding down the corners and sharp edges on my words but you just shook your head and pulled me along down the road, saying i had much left to learn about the true nature of things a point so sharp and cold in the clouded unlondon air i could do nothing else but conceed.