This goes out to someone that will most likly never read it or contact me again. Yea, I fucked up, but it was a long time ago. I made the mistake, I have to live with it
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Beautiful When You Cried


Its been some time since we last spoke
Since the last time I made you cry
You tried harder then all the rest
That is what scared me and made me push you away
I am horrible at accepting that maybe someone does care for me, as a result, I lost you
But another factor in this...was the twisted nature I tried desperatly to hide
I sometimes take pleasure in the suffering of others
Something of an orgasimic trip
And in my eyes...
You were always more beautiful when you cried
I felt bad when I hurt you, believe it or not, it is true
But part of me took a sick pleasure in it, a certain twisted joy, a certain high
You were flawless in mind and body
Beauty I had never before seen
Long dark hair and beautiful green eyes that sent my hormones to a new level
But I denied you...
And in doing so denied myself
I fucked up and the only reason why
Is because I always thought you were so much more beautiful when you cried
I'm not asking for forgiveness
I don't expect it or deserve it
I know you don't hold the feelings you once did
I know you can't forgive the creature I am
But I did and I do love you in my own twisted way
And never will I forget your tears
...Because you were always more beautiful when you cried