watch carefully
I'm going to disappear
without my american
suit

sure

it will seem like
I'm only pretending
( but no )
it's so much more
than that

at the top layer
right underneath the sewing kit
I've strung a weave of
needles

each for your own imprint
each for your own stamp
of blood

you may bless
me with holy water
if I seem guile
pronounced at a
higher fee of
intimidation

I'm missing you
though I can't promise
( or can I )
that I'll disparage
anything less

wrapped tightly
in stockings
you'll find the
ear I severed
that night in
mississippi

after laying on my back
going hard to my knees
trying to replay
the attention span
of a three year old
in my head

I remember screaming
and the way you held onto
the dock
trembling in the water
like a tiny newt in spring
( scared )
or was it only illumination
from the horrible moon
caught in your eyes

I've thought of being coy
over mountains
you make me charter
but ask me why I do it
( do the things I do )

and I'll gladly hesitate
to hold you even closer
if it changes at the smallest
or brings the average duty
back to town

back to me