If

If I could ever show myself
I'd stand before you stripped
If I could ever understand
Why my soul was ripped
I'd clean my filthy heart
In hopes to purify
Before the darkest, coldest world
Should end and I should die

If I could learn to speak
I'd bare my tongue to all
If only they could hear
Through all my fortress walls
I wouldn't have to scream
With scarring notes like knives
To make my feelings heard by you
Begging to save my life

If I could color you
I'd paint your eyes in grey
If I could stand to look in them
I would look away
To see the lost affection
Is more than I can take
A dying soul is draped in black
To cry another day...