L.one.LY

INTHEMIDDLE i am alone OFACROWD

there is a place. a place that is not easy to get to.

you have to walk down many roads, & make many

wrong turns.

when you are hungry, you stop to eat at a café. you

take a table outside. there is a park across the street.

you watch lovers stroll into it, hand in hand. there is

no hand for you to hold, so you don’t go there.

the chair on the other side of the table is empty. it

will always be empty. you would like to imagine that

someone is sitting there. even a ghost is a welcome

companion.

when you are tired, you take a room with a bed. the

sheets don’t wrinkle much, & they don’t warm, because

you are alone in the bed. & maybe there is no music:

love songs are played for lovers, & sad songs are too

depressing.

there are times when you can sit in the middle of a

field. it will seem as if there is a circular wall around

you. the structure is very high, like you are in the bottom

of a well. & that is the weight & the depth & the strength

of loneliness.

after much travelling down the long, almost endless roads,

you reach that place. you stop there, because you are

tired beyond exhaustion.

the door has no lock, which doesn’t matter: no one will enter,

& you have no reason to leave. black curtains cover the windows.

the dark is pierced only by a flickering candle flame.

and that is where I am.