I had some pizza and beer late the other night and had this weird dream...

Donny Osmond finds himself in the middle of a mid-life crisis, he knows he has one last concert tour left in him.  A tour to rehash all those, (bubble gum-antic), love songs that most of us came to loathe throughout the years.  Everything is now set and he prepares for that first concert today.  Unfortunately, he just received a dear John letter from his woman.  Due to his religious beliefs and up-bringing, he is unable to fully fathom what he has just read;  His woman left him for the love of another woman. (lesbian love)  In his pain he rewrites one of his old hit songs and
dedicates it to her. 
Let us visit that concert now and hear that dedication...

(Sung to the song, "Go away little girl.")

"Get away little girl
Get away little girl
She's not suppose to be alone with you.

I'm sure that her lips are sweet
But those lips you must not meet
Start dating men again and then stay true.

Oh, get away little girl
Get away little girl
It's hurting more each minute that you stay.

When you're with her like this
Enjoying each other's kiss (among other things)
So get away little girl, before she makes you gay."

(The Mormon Tabernacle Choir, assisted by the BYU
marching band, break in with resounding backgrounds.)

"Get away little girl
So, get away little girl
It hurts me more, the more that you delay.

When you're with her like this
She's much to hard to resist
So get away little girl... Don't be a gay little girl.

Please get away little girl, before she makes you gay.

Get away little girl... (don't be gay)
Oh, get away little girl... (don't be gay)
Please get away little girl... (don't be gay)
Get away little girl."
.
.
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Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.