Fat men in the rain--Drinkin' my cafe mocha

Imagine Ricky Martin twenty years from now, he is making his
come back.  He has a new song, actually he just rewrote
"livin' la vida loca."  He has gained a little weight, ok,
he has gained a lot of weight.  Fat gut sticking out from
under a black shirt that is too tight and a butt sticking way
out, in a pair of leather pants he shouldn't be wearing.  Hair
dyed and he has more chins than China Town.  Let's catch the
last song from that first concert...

(written to the tune, "livin' la vida loca.")

"I'm feeling its seduction, black coffee and Hershey call
I need caffeine reduction, that drink's gonna be my fall.
I've got a bad addiction, choc'late coffee is my fight
It's just a bad affliction, I'm drinking it day and night."

"It'll make your hair stand up
And a screaming in your brain.
It'll make your pants too tight
Looking flabby and disdain...
Like a fat man in the rain!  (Drink up!)"

"Waistband--bulging--out, I'm drinkin' my cafe mocha
A caf-feine rush so sweet, better than snortin' coka
My hips are sugar fed, and my butt's a big fat joka
Makes me want to shout, I'm drinkin' my cafe mocha.
(Drink up!)  Drinkin' my cafe mocha
(Drink up!)  I'm drinkin' my cafe mocha."

"Flew down to Costa Rica, looking for that perfect bean
It wasn't California, strangest place I'd ever seen."

"I drank a cup of coffee
And chocolate fell like rain.
(Belch!)
`Cause once you get a taste of it
Your weight begins to gain...
You'll never look the same!  (Drink up!)"

"Waistband--bulging--out, I'm drinkin' my cafe mocha
A caf-feine rush so sweet, better than snortin' coka
My hips are sugar fed, and my butt's a big fat joka
Makes me want to shout, I'm drinkin' my cafe mocha
(Drink up!)  Drinkin' my cafe mocha
(Drink up!)  I'm Drinkin' my cafe mocha."

Musical interlude-- Stinging electric guitar
accompanied by a second rate polka band.
(bootie dance--fat men dancing in the rain)
.
.
.
"It'll make you hair stand up
And a screaming in your brain.
It'll make your pants too tight
Looking flabby and disdain...
Like a fat man in the rain!  (Drink up!)"

"Waistband--bulging--out, I'm drinkin' my cafe mocha
A caf-feine rush so sweet, better than snortin' coka
My hips are sugar fed, and my butt's a big fat joka
Makes me want to shout, I'm drinkin' my cafe mocha
(Drink up!)  Drinkin' my cafe mocha
(Drink up!)  I'm drinkin' my cafe mocha."

Final crescendo

Ricky rips off his shirt and dances
with the fat men in the rain.  He
clutches his chest and falls to the
stage, suffering a fatal heart attack.
.
.
.
Ricky has left the building
Drinking his cafe mocha.