Faces

I’m so good at putting on faces,
Looking like I’m happy,
When I just want to die...

People thinking that I’m strong,
When I’m with them all night long.
Though, when I’m all alone,
They never see me cry.

I want to kill this pain.
Why am I always to blame?
Nothing I do is good enough.
Please? Why don’t you let me die?!?!

Doesn’t matter what I do,
I’ll never be like you.
Why bother putting in the effort.
I’m begging you…
God, please let me die!!!

I really do fucking hate my life...
Regretting the day I became your wife.
I have all this responsibility.
No one understanding what it’s like to be me.

A thousand ways to kill the pain.
Thoughts of only yesterday.
What happened so long ago...
That made me feel this worthless?

Hoping you have to work tonight.
Wishing I could end this strife.
You make me feel so ugly inside.
So now...all I want to do is hide.

To kill this pain.
To be someone else.
Wishing to place my heart on a shelf…
Within a box…
Behind a lock…
Tucked away…
So I don’t have to feel this way.


I know I’m stupid, dumb and fat.
Why not just bludgeon me with a bat?
It would be better than feeling this way.
My head and heart filled with so much pain.

Yearning for peace, love and namaste’.
Hoping I feel that again someday.
Wishing I wasn’t in today.
For right now I wish to die…