Send my regards to Fred Flintstone...


There are certain words that perhaps I shouldn't use
I truly miss them.

As an English speaking poet I may at times need them
I want my words back.

And by using some of these words I could be labled
I don't like labling.
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I miss words like shell shock and battle fatigue
They tell the story, you know the answer.

After two wars, a number of military engagements and conflicts
We now have post-traumatic stress disorder syndrome.

Holy bomb bay doors
That's a mouth full.

And what does all that mean?
Shell shock and battle fatigue.

I want my words back.
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Another word I miss is retarded
A word that relates its' true intentions.

To bad we throw the word around like a Frisbee
Puting down others by poking a bit of fun.

I don't mean to sound insensitive or uncaring
I feel the disadvantage that person goes through.

Throughout the centuries doctors used a host of words
Cretin, imbecile, idiot, moron and then retarded.

Someone decided we should desensitize those words
We now have developmental disability.

And what does all that mean?
Retarded.

I want my words back.
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But the one word I miss the most is gay
Meaning: carefree, happy, bright and showy.

In the beginning...

A gay woman was a prostitute
A gay man was a womanizer
And a gay house was a brothel.

I've been to a modern brothel a time or two
After each visit I felt carefree and happy
Hell, one could say I was feeling quite gay.

Next there were the gay nineties
Where men and women learned to party.

In the sixties a theme song was written for a cartoon
And I quote The Flintstones, "we'll have a gay old time." 

That did not mean Fred was doing Barney
Or Wilma and Betty were eating at the "Y".

Then one day I woke up to discover
My word just went gay ...all of a sudden.

The homosexual community proclaimed
The word, "homosexual" was a lable.

So they looked around and decided
Why don't we take Malcholm's word
And we shall be gay.

No-o-o-o, not gay
You can have the rainbow
Just don't take my word.

So I went to a huge gay rally
I demanded to see the head gay.

I explained to him my perplexing problem
And offered up a practical solution.

I wanted to trade up words
Some of mine for the word gay.

Artistic Allegiants
Fruit-flavored Foundation.

If we are straight then gays could only be
The Bent Bunch or the Crooked Community.

And if you have to keep my word
Then spell it G-E-I-G-H.

He told me I was insensitive and pejorative
So I went home dejected and looked up pejorative.

I want to be able to walk into a room
Stating proudly, "I am feeling gay today."

Without my friends and family
Giving that discerning look.

I want to feel carefree, happy, bright and showy
Hell, I'll even take a moment to be saucy.

And what does all this ridiculous ranting mean?
It's ok to feel gay while not being homosexual.

Give me back my words
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And as a poet, I swear to you
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We'll have a gay old time.
WILMA!!!