Is time relative?

Einstein had thought so
He wrote something on it...

"Let me tell you something
about a man like me..."

No, no that's NWA
Relativity please.

E equals M/C squared
Pure poetry.

But should it really matter what a pilot does
At the speed of sound--at the speed of light?

Not unless they're pushing buttons
Dropping their Nuclear payload
Upon us.

And that's relative.
.
.
.
What time is relative to us?

Once upon a time--Time after time--The land time forgot.

Quality time--Play time--Time out--Corner time.

Making time--Two(tim)ing--Love you long time.

Time shares--Time served--Hard time.

Quitting time--Beer thirty (it's a time)--Good time--Wasted time.

The first time you took a drink
The first time you were laid
Both may have happened at the same time.

And that's relative.
.
.
.
"Wasting away the moments that make up a dark day..."

A second saved is a second earned.
I wish I had a minute for every time I heard that...
I'd still be twenty-five.

On gear driven watches and clocks
Why is there a second hand
That travels around the face?

So you can sit idlely by
Counting away the seconds
When you are baked?

No!

So you will know precisely
When your watch is broken
Or needs a new battery.

And if time isn't working
Is it relative?

Hurry up!!! It's time to go!

But at what point in time do we know
When it is truly that time to go?

When Dad is fucking pissed off
And he says, "it's time to go!"

And that's relative.
.
.
.
"Do you really know what time it is?"

Eastern Standard Time
Central Standard Time
Mountain Standard Time
Pacific Standard Time
Greenwich Mean Time
Atomic Clock Time.

High times
Pizza time
Sleep time.

Time to live
Time to kill
Time to die.

And what time is it when it's time to die?

Out of time
End of time
Wrong place, wrong time
Dirt-nap time
When it's your time to go, it's your time to go.

Wait! Dad knows when it's time to go
I'll just ask him.

He rolled his eyes then told me
It was time I went and got him another beer.

Now Mom on the other hand
She's a bit more prophetic.

"Only God knows. He's the time keeper."

If God equals time
Is God relative?
.
.
.
I've searched high and low for an answer
And surfed the Internet in between.

Then one day, it fell into my lap
I asked a group of fourth graders.

And without missing a beat
Their response was so simple
Yet, enlightening.

"Half past the monkey's ass,
a quarter to his balls."

Now that's relative.