Finding an End...
By A Life Without You
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My eyes opened as if they've been shut for
some time.
A sudden jolt back to reality,
By the sound
of a slamming door.
Above, wires strung across concrete ceilings
Beneath, a cold wet floor.
The sound of cry's - echo
down what seems to be an infinite hallway,
Finding their end - in
the depths of my ear.
My lips slowly repeat
every word...
"Forever
ends today..."
"...Today
ends in Fear"
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Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
Copyright 2010 A Life Without You
Published on Tuesday, April 6, 2010.
Filed under:
"Poetry"
Author's Note:
Just a short series of fictional excerpts...Awards
Comments on "Finding an End..."
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On Thursday, April 22, 2010, Malcholm Dark
(806) wrote:
This scared me... and if that happens, this is a magical piece of poetry.... fantastic ending... you are the man
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A former member wrote:
This was deeper and more meaningful each time you read it. It does indeed grow on you. It was a great write and I wanted more. =)
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On Friday, April 16, 2010, boneplate
(56) wrote:
First line grabbed me. maybe to close to home...infinite hallway...forever ends today...great images.
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A former member wrote:
I like things that begin in medias res... not sure this is exactly... but it kinda has an impromptu start... the concrete ceilings had me goin.... picturing a cell of sorts... the words seemed surreal to me.... found it odd that such cries would find their end in anyone's ear... but, perhaps that's part of the point. and forever ends in fear.... huh. interesting idea. I wanted more, here, I felt unfinished.... and, of course, that's a good thing.... indication of capture, maybe. definitely resonated in an eerie.... waken to a nightmare... way. nice right, man.
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On Wednesday, April 7, 2010, ubiquitoussoul
(343) wrote:
This was amazing..don't make take it any less..An instant favorite..Didn't feel it was a tease..it was just right to me..nothing more needed to be said nothing less..I get such a vivid image here..Darkness..then lids open..An old concrete building..the light.in a hue of gray and blue..shadows bent sharp around windows..Bombs..Hangings..The hidden innocent scared..still face.and the resonating words you repeat over and over again..Feeling of lost hope,despair,solitary..but int the same vein a dark tranquility lined i this final moment..Thanks for the share..
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On Wednesday, April 7, 2010, A Life Without You
(146) wrote:
There we go, this is what i was looking for, your right on brother, wild isn't it, you finish it - yet your mind plays on, moving threw different scenarios, as you notice your heart beat starting to race...
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On Tuesday, April 6, 2010, RubyXero
(481) wrote:
ok so I decided to read this a few extra times too, and I take it back. This was way deeper then first appears when quickly read. everything was said in such a profound way. I really enjoyed this
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On Wednesday, April 7, 2010, A Life Without You
(146) wrote:
see, i knew you would like it... it slowly grows on you...
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On Tuesday, April 6, 2010, RubyXero
(481) wrote:
well...in a way that was a total tease if I ever read one! I liked it but I definitely wanted more
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On Tuesday, April 6, 2010, ebonyamore
(100) wrote:
I read this 5 times, each more slowly than the time before and every time I read it, it got deeper and better. You don't use many words here but you say SO MUCH. and that last couplet was like a slap to the face. I've been using the word "profound" a lot lately, but that couplet felt like lightning to me. despair, anguish, bone deep coldness. and within the resignation of the sentiment was the a tiny seed of something nameless that from this vantage point looks a little like peace? or maybe I'm just rambling. but I did really enjoy this read.
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On Tuesday, April 6, 2010, A Life Without You
(146) wrote:
Its as if you want it to end, to be over, yet your not sure of the circumstances of where you are at, so maybe fighting for one last breath might be in your best interests... or it might not... either way the cry's are not helping... lol, thx for stopping by, glad you enjoyed