A Concern Of Happiness

I know it's true,
No matter how I try to convince myself otherwise,
I know it's my fault,
And now I don't know how to fix it,
I can't exactly say what I've done,
But I know I did it;

I've never heard you say it,
But I know it's the way you feel,
You've said so to someone else,
Whether I'm supposed to know that or not is irrelevant;

Why you told her and not me makes me uneasy,
It hurts enough that this is what you think,
But then you didn't tell me,
Instead you said it to her,
Her whom you have a past with,
Her who said she's been thinking about you,
Her who in not so many words said she still has feelings for you;

I almost wish I hadn't found that,
Thoughts of the last song on 'Jagged Little Pill' come to mind,
Doing what I shouldn't have,
And finding what I didn't want to;

I know exactly what you'd say if I were to say something,
That you love me and you'd do anything for me,
You'd tell me that I have nothing to worry about,
I'd smile and that would be it,
As far as you're concerned it'd be better,
While I'm not really feeling any better;

I realize what you've given up for me,
I realize that I'm not easy to live with,
I'm pretty certain that this isn't the life you imagined,
I just wish I could make all the bad things go away,
I wish you would've told me and not her,
I wish you didn't feel the way you do,
I wish you were happy.