i am only free enough to pursue you in my dreams
even then, upon distinctly feeling the pressure of competition,
i become so menacingly weak with lingering self-doubt,
it is impossible for me to think of myself as your desire
from where do you pull the strength of self containment
like a man fighting to live a life he loves,
i have exhausted all possibilities, tried everything
intellect can not turn your head,
nor cunning sincerity,
nor the coveted cravings of connected physical warmth,
are able to overpower the forceful will of the heart that is --
mine only in a world that does not exist to you