Shore Side Reverie

By Delphoid-Q

On the shore the seaman stands,
His sailing days all done -
No longer shall he brave the tides
Nor watch the wavelets run.

He stands to watch the foam-flecked surf
Frolic over the sand -
To reflect on a life lived free of woe
Upon the oceans spanned.

With comrades had he spent his days,
Made one through sweat and toil -
Good men they were who lived at sea
Who have now all turned to soil.

For only the sea still cares for him,
Only the waves stayed true -
The world speeds on forever more,
But the sea retains her hue.

He sees the waves come crashing in
And weeps through hardened eyes -
A tear escapes his bearded cheek
To join a sea of sighs.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2003 Delphoid-Q
Published on Thursday, November 27, 2003.     Filed under: "Reflective" and "Poetry"
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Comments on "Shore Side Reverie"

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  • A former member wrote: sounds better. glad my criticism, to your credit, was taken constructively, as i meant it to be taken. valid assertion as well; meaning shouldn't be compromised for style. also, in 3rd stnz. does "made one" refer to comrades or days?

  • Delphoid-Q On Tuesday, December 7, 2004, Delphoid-Q (213)By person wrote:

    Too few ppl criticise on this site for my liking, so I enjoy it when someone is honest and helps me improve. It refers to both the seaman and his comrades, btw...

  • A former member wrote: 1st stanza is strong, the two upons in 2nd bothered me...and i think a who've at the end of 3 sounds better. not to be 2 critical...your one of my favorite poets here, and i really like the idea here!

  • Delphoid-Q On Monday, December 6, 2004, Delphoid-Q (213)By person wrote:

    Thank you for the crit... The repetition of the 'upon' I must admit I hadn't noticed and will change when I think of an alternative. However, although a contraction might smooth out the 3rd stanza a bit, I consider the 'who have' to be more fitting both

  • Delphoid-Q On Monday, December 6, 2004, Delphoid-Q (213)By person wrote:

    in terms of the style and the linguistic level of this piece. Thanx again for reading and helping me improve my poetry. You’re becoming one of my favs too ;)

  • BeautifulCalamity On Friday, September 24, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (428)By person wrote:

    very good write, painted quite the picture.. i especially liked " a tear escapes his bearded cheek to join a sea of sighs".. beautifully done

  • stormtalk On Tuesday, January 20, 2004, stormtalk (729)By person wrote:

    Very well-written and lovely... reminds me of Samuel Taylor Coleridge's "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" (in both style and content). I like this one a lot... time to read more!

  • Blinded_Tiger On Wednesday, December 10, 2003, Blinded_Tiger (518)By person wrote:

    Love it. I can easily imagine his life, from what you wrote. We got alot of ocean here and around also :) ... This also made me think, that the calmness in many elder people that had a hard life is realy to admire.

  • Blinded_Tiger On Wednesday, December 10, 2003, Blinded_Tiger (518)By person wrote:

    Especialy when looking at screaming, cutting and whining youth... wuuups did I say that? I must have meant it then. Tiger

  • GreekPhilosopher On Tuesday, December 9, 2003, GreekPhilosopher (156)By person wrote:

    The Old Man Sea Standing With The Reminisce Thingy! I Love It! Its Been A While But Henneyway. GPhD.

  • TropicalSnowstorm On Monday, December 8, 2003, TropicalSnowstorm (1703)By person wrote:

    Lovely piece! Good to see a new piece from you, VERY nice flow and rhythm. I love traditional pieces that are well done like this one. Ciao, T/S Scholar

  • A Velvet Tongue On Friday, December 5, 2003, A Velvet Tongue (436)By person wrote:

    if you throw in a pop tart..(un-iced) strawberry flavor......I'll leave a really cool comment...

  • Delphoid-Q On Saturday, December 6, 2003, Delphoid-Q (213)By person wrote:

    *Throws in an uniced, strawberry pop tart*.

  • -Oz- On Friday, December 5, 2003, -Oz- (134)By person wrote:

    WOW!!....you must go to the sea a lot...your poem is just....WOW!..~YeStErDaY~

  • OLd SouL On Friday, November 28, 2003, OLd SouL (734)By person wrote:

    to be one with nature is a beautiful thing. The longing here is aching... the sea is running through his veins and intensity magnifies with every beat of his heart. Wonderful read :::OLd

  • KittyStryker On Friday, November 28, 2003, KittyStryker (711)By person wrote:

    this is beautiful.... nature remains consistantly inconsistant... there is such resigned longing and wistfulness in here... just an ache... ::nuzzles:: happy to see your work again.

  • sole On Thursday, November 27, 2003, sole (93)By person wrote:

    Very cool poem. The ocean is a good listener, nice work.

  • A former member wrote: I like water, and i feel bad for the seaman....sucks to be old.-Acid

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