Shore Side Reverie
By Delphoid-Q
On the shore the seaman stands,
His sailing days all done -
No longer shall he brave the tides
Nor watch the wavelets run.
He stands to watch the foam-flecked surf
Frolic over the sand -
To reflect on a life lived free of woe
Upon the oceans spanned.
With comrades had he spent his days,
Made one through sweat and toil -
Good men they were who lived at sea
Who have now all turned to soil.
For only the sea still cares for him,
Only the waves stayed true -
The world speeds on forever more,
But the sea retains her hue.
He sees the waves come crashing in
And weeps through hardened eyes -
A tear escapes his bearded cheek
To join a sea of sighs.
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
Copyright 2003 Delphoid-Q
Published on Thursday, November 27, 2003.
Filed under: "Reflective" and
"Poetry"
Comments on "Shore Side Reverie"
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A former member wrote:
sounds better. glad my criticism, to your credit, was taken constructively, as i meant it to be taken. valid assertion as well; meaning shouldn't be compromised for style. also, in 3rd stnz. does "made one" refer to comrades or days?
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On Tuesday, December 7, 2004, Delphoid-Q
(213) wrote:
Too few ppl criticise on this site for my liking, so I enjoy it when someone is honest and helps me improve. It refers to both the seaman and his comrades, btw...
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A former member wrote:
1st stanza is strong, the two upons in 2nd bothered me...and i think a who've at the end of 3 sounds better. not to be 2 critical...your one of my favorite poets here, and i really like the idea here!
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On Monday, December 6, 2004, Delphoid-Q
(213) wrote:
Thank you for the crit... The repetition of the 'upon' I must admit I hadn't noticed and will change when I think of an alternative. However, although a contraction might smooth out the 3rd stanza a bit, I consider the 'who have' to be more fitting both
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On Monday, December 6, 2004, Delphoid-Q
(213) wrote:
in terms of the style and the linguistic level of this piece. Thanx again for reading and helping me improve my poetry. You’re becoming one of my favs too ;)
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On Friday, September 24, 2004, BeautifulCalamity
(428) wrote:
very good write, painted quite the picture.. i especially liked " a tear escapes his bearded cheek to join a sea of sighs".. beautifully done
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On Tuesday, January 20, 2004, stormtalk
(727) wrote:
Very well-written and lovely... reminds me of Samuel Taylor Coleridge's "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" (in both style and content). I like this one a lot... time to read more!
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On Wednesday, December 10, 2003, Blinded_Tiger
(518) wrote:
Love it. I can easily imagine his life, from what you wrote. We got alot of ocean here and around also :) ... This also made me think, that the calmness in many elder people that had a hard life is realy to admire.
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On Wednesday, December 10, 2003, Blinded_Tiger
(518) wrote:
Especialy when looking at screaming, cutting and whining youth... wuuups did I say that? I must have meant it then. Tiger
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On Tuesday, December 9, 2003, GreekPhilosopher
(156) wrote:
The Old Man Sea Standing With The Reminisce Thingy! I Love It! Its Been A While But Henneyway. GPhD.
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On Monday, December 8, 2003, TropicalSnowstorm
(1580) wrote:
Lovely piece! Good to see a new piece from you, VERY nice flow and rhythm. I love traditional pieces that are well done like this one. Ciao, T/S
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On Friday, December 5, 2003, A Velvet Tongue
(434) wrote:
if you throw in a pop tart..(un-iced) strawberry flavor......I'll leave a really cool comment...
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On Saturday, December 6, 2003, Delphoid-Q
(213) wrote:
*Throws in an uniced, strawberry pop tart*.
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On Friday, December 5, 2003, -Oz-
(131) wrote:
WOW!!....you must go to the sea a lot...your poem is just....WOW!..~YeStErDaY~
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On Friday, November 28, 2003, OLd SouL
(717) wrote:
to be one with nature is a beautiful thing. The longing here is aching... the sea is running through his veins and intensity magnifies with every beat of his heart. Wonderful read :::OLd
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On Friday, November 28, 2003, KittyStryker
(710) wrote:
this is beautiful.... nature remains consistantly inconsistant... there is such resigned longing and wistfulness in here... just an ache... ::nuzzles:: happy to see your work again.
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On Thursday, November 27, 2003, sole
(93) wrote:
Very cool poem. The ocean is a good listener, nice work.
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A former member wrote:
I like water, and i feel bad for the seaman....sucks to be old.-Acid