There is nothing tangible for me to grieve 
You were just an idea, a future I would never see 
I imagined all of the ways I would love you 
The ways in which I had never been loved myself
I learned to hold on, but not to let go 
Though I would never even get to hold you 
As my womb became your grave 
My body, the hostile environment you could not survive 
All it does is remind me that maybe you were better off 
You are better off without someone like me as your mother 
I learned to hold on, but not to let go 
My mind is screaming for this to be over 
To pretend that you never existed 
My hostile body will not let you go
You were just an idea, a future I would never see 
The purpose and reason for me to live when I no longer wanted to
Now I believe that maybe I should cease to exist, too
I learned to hold on, but not to let go
So maybe I should go with you
But, no, I am too scared to do that 
So instead I will set fire to everything that reminds me of you
And tell myself that you are better off without me as your mother.

There is nothing tangible for me to grieve 

You were just an idea, a future I would never see 

I imagined all of the ways I would love you 

The ways in which I had never been loved myself

I learned to hold on, but not to let go 

Though I would never even get to hold you 

As my womb became your grave 

My body, the hostile environment you could not survive 

All it does is remind me that maybe you were better off 

You are better off without someone like me as your mother 

I learned to hold on, but not to let go 

My mind is screaming for this to be over 

To pretend that you never existed 

My hostile body will not let you go

You were just an idea, a future I would never see 

The purpose and reason for me to live when I no longer wanted to

Now I believe that maybe I should cease to exist, too

I learned to hold on, but not to let go

So maybe I should go with you

But, no, I am too scared to do that 

So instead I will set fire to everything that reminds me of you

And tell myself that you are better off without me as your mother.