Still Here, I Suppose

I remember being dizzy
As I followed the spiral staircase of life.

I lost my feelings somewhere inbetween the railings
Someplace near the bottom?
Or maybe on the steps?

I used to articulate my sadness
But silently fell numb; empty.
Perpetually avoiding all matter.

I lay here for days wishing I could sleep.
Counting the passage of time, but not really.
I sleep while watching my eyesight fade.

Sometimes I'll ponder the beauty of making red petals.
With knives I'd like to buy.
I dream about the luxury of sharing them with my bathroom.

To show I existed once

But for now I merely exist.