My admission

All I can hope for is you're safe tonight.
Hoping you made it to heaven.
Hoping you found the savior that evening.
Hoping you are now in your haven.

You were too young to be taken from us.
Are you now my guardian angel looking out?
Or are these just deamons haunting me..
I just wanna fucking scream and shout..

I know I was a horrible person, but why.
Why did you have to suffer so and then die?
No amount of innocense should suffer this.
What is gonna stop this painful, endless abyss.

I just wanna die everytime these memories come.
I still remember the smile on your face quite well.
The knots are back, my whole body hurts, burns..
I just can't help it but I don't want this memory to dwell.

You always frustrated me but still could make me laugh.
You always loved to drive me crazy however you could.
Whether we hated each other or not, you meant so much.
I am so lost lately.. I don't like thinking, even though I should.

The pain is making it so hard to breath now.
I have to end this while I can still manage to think.
Just know you will never be forgotten, always remembered.
I don't care about the pain, I won't make it to the brink.

R.I.P. My brother.
It's been a while since but memories of you are still strong as can be.
You will never be forgotten.
You were young but you made such a huge impact.
I hope your spirit rests well.
I hope to see you again one day.