Put That in Your Buddha and Smoke It

By Doc

Its like watching a greyhound race
Yes, that sounds right
A Greyhound race sounds just about right
Thin muscular dogs racing for their life
Its a bloody shame 
They will be turned into glue in the end anyway

Perhaps this is what God really is
Glue
It is fluid and sometimes transparent
But usually its bright white
Like that cheap crap you buy from the dollar store
Well, that must linger on his conscience

Yet this sounds odd 
I thought that this... vivid... description
Had to be false
Does God not wear a white toga 
With Jesus and Hitler drinking the wine
And maybe sharing a rare good story

Now for the point of clarification
Hitler is not Jesus
Jesus was not Hitler
And I'm pretty sure they were both Canadian

We can blame socialism for everything these days

But we are not here to talk about Stalin, that friendly bartender
Sure the Kool Aid tastes like vodka
But do you know how many Russian children died
To make that popular aphrodisiac?
And if not children, a badger must have been involved.
Or that old cranky drunk lady down the street.

Speaking of cranky old women
Anyone here about what that crazy Renaissance thinker was talking?
I saw him at a bar last Tuesday
His face looked like something out of a Robert Frost poem
If good old Robby was yielding a shovel

"I god the hell kicked out of me by a martini glass last night..."
"Interesting, so who won?"
"Well that martini glass of course"

This is why Jesus was always too young to drink.
Five bottles of Guinness and the next thing you know 
He nailed to a cross
But they do that to thinkers a lost these days.

So in conclusion:
Jesus beat the hell out of me with a badger.
The problem is that the animal was yielding a cross.
Old ladies tend to offer drinks...
But only to philosophers who tell people
That believing in God is a safe bet.
Tale that thought to your local casino and smoke it
Just remember that God smokes best when he is unfiltered.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2009 Doc
Published on Tuesday, November 24, 2009.     Filed under: "Philosophical" and "Poetry"
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Comments on "Put That in Your Buddha and Smoke It"

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  • Dilated View On Friday, December 18, 2009, Dilated View (582)By person wrote:

    Wow I am completely blown away. Nothing I could say would do this justice but know that it was devoured gratefully.

  • A former member wrote: I'm trying to figure out if the typos were intentional...because if they were, they're a brilliant play, especially the "a lost these days". Wonderful irony here...

  • A former member wrote: brilliantly conveyed piece, intelligent observations and sharp analogies, love the way it was tied together in the last stanza, a privilege to see what you see.

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