Accidentally on purpose

I woke up this morning
and wondered how we came to this
I remember
what it felt like to love you
the butterflies
but its just that a memory
and after all the broken promises
its not even a good one

i studied your face
while you slept
and thought about how once upon a time
it made my knees go weak
and as the hands that use to hold my heart
pull me closer
I feel nothing but smothered
by might have beens and use to bes

We were wonderful once
but we crashed and burned
like so many other people who
tripped into love
i gave you my heart on accident
but you took it on purpose
defiled it
raped my emotions
and didn`t even realize you loved me
until i no longer existed

and people call me the stupid one
stupid for staying
and loving you anyway

i listen to you mumble
my chest constricts
i cease to breathe
then exhale when its my name
that drifts from your dreams

I live on an edge
that you pushed me to
but i will not jump
not for you