Ashamed

I told you that I loved you
And you said it back,
You asked me not to hurt you
I told you I would never do that,
I have a guilty conscience,
I can’t tell you why,
I don’t want to lose you,
I don’t want to say goodbye,
You’ve loved me more than any one before,
I’m not good enough for you,
What a terrible mistake that I have made,
if only I could take it back,
Should i say what I have done?
Or keep it to myself?
A life long secret to hold on to,
That would desuetude all that we have,
You’ve never done me wrong,
To you, I’m your everything
To me, I’m nothing,
Nothing but a liar,
Don’t ask me why I’m crying,
Please don’t hold me now,
My heart is hurting,
Because I know my lie will only desolate you
I never wanted to,
Soaking in a bubble bath,
Waters slowly turning red,
Laying my head back,
Nearing my intent,
Life, not just flashing by my eyes
But a movie playing out before me,
I don’t cry,
Telling you, would hurt you,
Living with it would only kill me slower,
I don’t want to die,
But I don’t want to stay either,
The water is so warm,
But I’m feeling so cold,
Chills going up my spine,
I’m drifting off,
I’m sinking into an apathetic pool of blood,
Finally going under,
I’m breathless.
Ashamed, I take this to my grave.