Bloody Hell, This Reality

Here I go again
Countless passes back and forth
In the deepening groove
In the flesh

My left arm
A testament
To my pain
and
"Odium" being spelt
Out in red searing letters
A monument to all that I hate

Criss-crossing lines
Make the letters
While criss-crossing conflict
Tears my soul apart

Try to find a way to get away
From all the pain in this house
You do what you do
And I do what I can
5 inches in length down my forearm
For the 5 years this has been building
An inch in height
Standing for the one minute that changed everything
This night
That night
I'm trying not to fight
Try so hard to make things right
But I'm losing the light
And through my fingers slips my might
I'm a real mother fucker
Just trying to clear my sight

Give me a reason to stop
Trying to stop my self before I drop
The blood fills the floor
Up to the white-painted shores
I drown in my own crimson vitality
My hate is no longer kept in confidentiality
When it's carved into my skin to confirm this reality

Everybody knows this feeling
And it's a shame that we get shamed for it
So infuriated my skin is peeling
I'm so fucking fed up with this shit

My lungs are burning through my rib cage
Blood is running out of my nose for the 2nd time today
8th time this week, caused by stress and rage
Coming out from behind my eyes, crying blood like the devil's baby