Comments by Fantecstasy
- "Work like this makes me wish I had come back sooner. My favourite portion was the final stanza, "we don't see the truth, but we hear // the trauma to our hearts[...]" coupled with the irony of having a beginning at the end. Well done, to say the least, *tips hat*"
Posted by Fantecstasy on "clever translations: dust bunnies of the earth [repost]" by sIo
- "Depends what you're going for. I've been told that an even number of syllables per line sounds more organic / folksy / rhythmic than an odd number of syllables (i.e your 7/9/5 scheme) which is often more pensive. It's good, and I enjoyed it, but it's hard to know what to suggest to you without knowing what you don't like about it specifically... Anyways, good work again *tips hat*"
Posted by Fantecstasy on "Sleeping Willow" by Ladyhawke
- "Love the form, asymmetric stanzas worked well with the content. Even if it was just the first two lines it would be an amazing piece... Very well written, again. *tips hat*"
Posted by Fantecstasy on "Masquerading Eden" by Ladyhawke
- "This is truly amazing. The impact of the cacozelia and transference in "tiara penetrates lips first / pavement exploding in slick red". It was filled with many more things, equally as elegant, but I don't have time to go through them all. Excellent, to say the least. *tips hat*"
Posted by Fantecstasy on "the skydiver" by nur hidayah
- "The second last stanza is really brilliant. The whole thing is very good, but still. "I would try not to try to[o] hard / to be perfect for you / but i'd fail and find myself / falling" It's sequential and knowingly set up for that failure you just can't resist. Awesome work. *tips hat*"
Posted by Fantecstasy on "Anticipation" by Lylani
- "You have a lot of unique descriptors, and jolts in syntax to keep the reader on their guard. Well written. *tips hat*"
Posted by Fantecstasy on "The Beast" by SulaMoon
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