Untitled Erotic Story Rough Draft (Expect problems)
By Preacher X
Imagine yourself walking into your room. The lights are out save for a
few strategically placed candles. The smells of warm wax and roses flow
through the air. You walk into the bathroom where the candles seem to
lead. In the bathroom stands a steaming bath, filled with rose petals.
As you look on you feel hands on your shoulders. Those hands cover your
eyes with a sleeping mask, not allowing you to see. Not allowing you to
have any idea what is to come next.
Suddenly you feel warm lips pressed softly to your name as the hands slide
down your sides. You can tell by the touch that this is a man, but whom?
He does not speak, he does not need to. Your body answers his every demand
as you feel him move you through the motions of undressing. His firm hands
working his fingers over your skin as the shirt you wear is pulled over
your head. You feel exposed but at the same time alive. You feel his
now electric touches as his fingers slip over your smooth flesh. Slip over
you and feel every bit of your exposed body, until they finally work to
remove your bra. With expert motions the garment drops free. You almost
automatically move to allow it to fall to the floor.
Now you feel his kisses, the dark, daring touch of his lips all about you.
He kissed, first softly, on top of each breast. He then again kisses
on your neck as he moves around you. His fingertips trail over you as
he moves about, slowly turning around you as he kisses every few inches.
Sometimes high, sometimes low. Despite his closeness you can never seem
to tell where the next kiss will come. This continues until you feel him
behind you, his arms wrapping around you. His hands grasp at your breasts
firmly, toying lightly with your nipples. All the while still blindfolded,
unknowing of whom it is that is touching you. Touching you and taking you
into their hold.
His hands slowly move down her body now as his teeth play over her neck
and down her body to her pants. Unfastening them slowly and deliberately
she can feel his hands as they slip into the open waist of the pants.
Then down over her panty hidden and now completely shaven treasures. She
can vaguely now feel the presses of his firm manhood against her back as
his fingers find there way into her panties and against her bald clit.
His fingers toying over it now as the other hand slowly pushes her clothes
from her body. As if in command she steps out of the pants as he moves
around, his finger still toying with her clit, her eyes still covered.
He stands there now in front of her. He makes her sit down now, on the
edge of the bathtub. The sweet smell of the candle wax and roses takes
over all others as he has his way with her.
As he makes her sit she instinctively spreads her legs wide, exposing herself
to him. As if on cue she feels the sudden sensation of his hands on her
thighs only a moment before he thrusts his tongue deep into her now very
damp pussy. Her own juices glistening on her shaven mound, making the
taste all the better as he invades her very inner reaches. She feels
his fingers enter her as he sucks her clit into his mouth. He sucks it
in only to force it out again and then repeats it. Now he hums a slight
tune to send the vibrations deep into her body. Deep into her they go
by way of her now throbbing clit. His tongue lashes out as he sucks the
clit back into his mouth, lashes desperately against it. His hand holding
her hips hard against his face as his fingers penetrate her with unyieldingly
steady strokes, feeling her every inner secret.
Suddenly and all at once she feels nothing, no touches, nothing. Just
as the feeling in her is about to fade she feels the sudden and intense
feel of him penetrating her. The throbbing large tip of his shaft only
pauses for a moment before impaling her with its rigid length. Deep into
her it slides, penetrating her fully. Spreading her wide to its will,
she can feel every vein, every throb, and every little piece of it in her.
It is very hot in her as it begins to pull free and then dive back into
her. Splitting her wider and making her body bow to its will. His hands
are now all over her, touching her breasts, her ass, rubbing her clit,
simply invading her body but in such a slow sensual manner that her body
has not choice but to succumb to his wishes. She is his completely.
As if to prove his point, she can feel his pace quicken, a signal of his
impending release. Faster and faster he penetrated her, plundering her,
taking her, demanding her to obey him. Faster and faster he goes each
stroke just as hard and deep. She could feel the cock in her expanding
as it filled with his seed. Suddenly and all at once she felt his force
himself as deeply into her as he could possibly go. Then she felt the
almost bullet like sensation of his release into her. She felt it pour
from him into her, felt it fill her.
After a while she felt him pull free from her, his hands pushing under
her. Lifting her up and placing her into the warm tub. And then he was
gone. By the time she removed the blind fold, he was nowhere. She would
never know his face, only the feel of that raging manhood in her, the touch
of his lips and the feeling that he had, for that time, owned her.
Comments on "Untitled Erotic Story Rough Draft (Expect problems)"
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A former member wrote:
i wanna know who it was....
*shudders from wonderfulness*
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On Tuesday, August 14, 2007, Preacher X
(34) wrote:
This peice is to be reworked in the near future when i can find time to do so.
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On Tuesday, August 14, 2007, GraveFlower
(240) wrote:
woah........damn,,,,,,,,,,like, woah,,,,,♥ you were really right,. awesome write,,,,,,,woah
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A former member wrote:
You want them to shudder when she does, be wet when she is. You want them to close their eyes and feel it. Right now you are just telling them instead of showing them. Deb
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A former member wrote:
May I make a suggestion that might help? You need to work on the point of view. Choose his or hers and give her a name, you have too many pronouns. Also, working on POV will help the reader feel what you want them to feel. You want them to shudder whe
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A former member wrote:
Aye, this is really good! Hmm not sure about some of the words you used eg cock & juices which to me are often generally used in a derogatory manner, this took some of the magicalness away.
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On Sunday, June 10, 2007, Preacher X
(34) wrote:
Thanks for the input. It was a quick rough and I plan to revise it. Now that I have a viable "audiance" to bounce it against revisions should come pretty quickly. Thanks alot.
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On Sunday, June 10, 2007, Moonflower
(298) wrote:
damn. i finally got a chance to read this. and it was very... good ;). but i think you should do the first few paragraphs like the rest (she instead of you) other than that it was just wonderful ;).
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On Sunday, June 10, 2007, Preacher X
(34) wrote:
Yeah I know. I caught my perspective transition befor ei posted it but it s a rough after all. I will be posting revisions so keep your eyes pealed and thank you very much for your feedback.
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On Thursday, June 7, 2007, Preacher X
(34) wrote:
Thank you both of you. I had fun writing it :) I know it has some perspective issues but it is a rough draft after all.
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On Thursday, June 7, 2007, glasshouse
(530) wrote:
wow.
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On Thursday, June 7, 2007, Sin
(1135) wrote:
i second that wow..
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On Wednesday, August 8, 2007, Winter Born
(169) wrote:
erotic short story...how did I know Sin would be here?