[i see the lies but still trip over them]
By asphyxia
"Before I fall too deep."
Like it was an option,
something to mull over,
swish-swash
from side to side
of my pretty mouth
with its black jewels
click-clack-clacking
against far-from-white
and perfect pearls
...speaks too much
and speaks too little;
talks in rhymes and
talks to no one
with a vowel or
proper noun:
"Give me the name of
a man who doesn't
lie with perfect ease."
...so full of shit.
One hit wonder. Smack,
crack, pow... right at
my little blue eyes,
my pretty hues,
metal above the left
to remind me I
have strength for
needles and sore souls,
men who expect that
pretty and perfect
and prim and proper
are not an option--
are not a choice.
Mandatory like
monetary devices.
My pockets are shallow
(and empty at that).
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
© 2007 asphyxia; Jolene Korrin Long
Published on Thursday, April 19, 2007.
Filed under:
"Poetry"
Comments on "[i see the lies but still trip over them]"
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On Wednesday, July 18, 2007, Tonights Decision
(132) wrote:
this is read with such an easy flow and rythm, very impressive! i may be a bit late, but still, welcome to dp.
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On Wednesday, May 2, 2007, Tania
(192) wrote:
(no you didnt come over all 'getting' dont worry about it) well this is my favourite write from you.. seriously. i might have even faved this IF i had the available bookmarks... so again.. welcome jolene :)
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On Sunday, April 29, 2007, Aunty Depressant
(423) wrote:
I think if I had the name of that man...I'd keep it to myself, he'd likely be a jem ;P Welcome to DP A:D.
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On Sunday, April 29, 2007, evcfenix
(15) wrote:
neat write! i like how well it flows especially with the sound effects like 'pow' and 'swish swash'. thats quite a toughie to pull off real well. and i like how you twist it into a metaphor at the end.
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On Sunday, April 29, 2007, Disassembly Boy
(59) wrote:
I really enjoyed everything about this. Every word perfect. The ending killed me.. :) Love it.
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On Thursday, April 19, 2007, unspeakable truth
(94) wrote:
The title perfection, and so sets the flow. Great write!
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On Thursday, April 19, 2007, nur hidayah
(114) wrote:
Wow,this was very rhythmic. "Like it was an option, something to mull over, swish-swash from side to side of my pretty mouth with its black jewels click-clack-clacking against far-from-white" Very clever indeed. Pretty. Welcome to DP.I'll be watching
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On Thursday, April 19, 2007, asphyxia
(56) wrote:
Aww thank you everyone! I'm new to this and am very shy about sharing my work with others who have been around for a while and have much more experience!
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On Thursday, April 19, 2007, prettydisgrace
(93) wrote:
wow.. Seriously enjoyed this.. a well deserved welcome to dp jolene! (we share the same name Im a joleen)
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A former member wrote:
amazing stuff! I love your use of onomatopoeia in this.. welcome!
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On Thursday, April 19, 2007, purr_verse
(1052) wrote:
Very impressive stuff; love the conclusion especially. Insightful and originally expressed; manywelcomes to dp. :)
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On Thursday, April 19, 2007, carlosjackal
(2788) wrote:
Jolene, this was magnificent! A fantastic cascade that has me looking forward to more of your works. Welcome To The Madness Of DP!! -Carl