You’re the one person in the world that can do this to me,
Put me in a state where I don’t want to say a word,
Quite an amazing feat for someone of your stature,
Considering,
You are the one person in this world that I actually love;

Love like I’d give anything for you,
Love with a power that only God knows,
Love like it’s the only thing that keeps me going,
Love like I risk so much just to be with you,
Love that’s deep down in my soul,
Love that my heart needs from you to keep it beating;

And yet,
You find ways to do this to me,
Make me feel insignificant,
Like I’m just here for that female companionship,
Like you’d rather find yourself in the bottom of eight dollar wine,
Like looking for pron or Elton John songs is more important than my well-being,
Like I am incapable of making you happy;

Around you I never seem to do anything right,
God knows that whatever I say is wrong,
And I’m simply not good enough for you,
Not smart enough,
Not skinny enough,
Not classy enough,
My taste isn’t good enough,
And none of my ideas are ever good enough;

I keep falling apart,
And you never know why,
That,
I know,
Is entirely my fault;

I can never find my voice,
I can’t tell you what’s wrong,
Too many things fly around my mind,
And the smallest,
Most insignificant thing comes out of my mouth,
And it always comes out the wrong way,
Making it seem like there’s something wrong with me,
That I think somehow it’s my fault,
Just because the words don’t come out right;
So,
As far as you’re concerned it’s an easy fix,
Then we live happily ever after,
And I just brush it all aside,
Everything that’s wrong,
Because it will all go away by itself,
But never does,
The teasing,
The mocking,
The trickery,
The games,
The ignoring;

I am not some hot wheels toy,
I can not be played with,
Abused and battered,
Then set down and forgotten when a wheel breaks,
Or the game just isn’t fin anymore,
Or, heaven forbid, the new playstation game has caught your eye,
All my life I’ve been that little car,
That takes all of that child’s abuse,
And is then forgotten somewhere under the bed;

But I just can not tell you any of this,
For fear of causing harm,
And even now I can’t convey all that goes through my head,
You’re the one person in this world that can make everything better,
That can make everyting come crashing down,
That will never understand what’s really wrong;

But this time I know I’m right,
And you can’t put any of the blame on me,
This is not about the God awful things I do to you,
Or all the pain I make you feel,
Because honestly,
The only reason I’m even causing pain,
Is because of my pain;

How truly selfish it all must seem,
The poor mistreated drama queen,
Oh woe is me,
But let’s face it,
This is just the way I am,
I dish out what I’ve been served,
None of that ‘do unto others…’ horseshit;

It wouldn’t make a difference in the slightest anyways,
I’d still be that battered and abused hot wheels car,
But you’re the only person in the world that makes it hurt this much,
I could take it from people I don’t know,
I could take it from my friends,
But you,
The love of my life,
The one person who I entrusted my heart to,
It hurts more than anything,
Just because you’re that one person.