Shroud of Darkness
By darth ren
Sitting in the silence of this sleepless winter night
Darkness like a sheet conceals me from the light.
Helplessly I watch as it seeps into my veins
All of me the Darkness now contains.
Lashing out in anger, I tear away my flesh
Drowning in my blood, compulsively I thresh.
All of my emotions held captive by the pain,
Through all of this the Darkness still remains.
In frantic desperation I sacrifice my soul
To drive away the Darkness, my self consuming goal
As consciousness of life slowly drips down the drain
I find internal Darkness still remains
Don’t let yourself be blinded with the light of day,
Night is forth coming, it can’t be kept away.
All life ends with calamitous defeat
A deathly pallor impossible to cheat.
And so let begin this everlasting rein,
For in the end the silhouette of Darkness will remain.
Comments on "Shroud of Darkness"
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On Wednesday, November 8, 2006, SilentStalker
(1047) wrote:
this works pretty well; the long lines sometimes let us lose track of the syllables we're using, but it also gives us the leeway to get away with it a bit easier...
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On Wednesday, November 8, 2006, SilentStalker
(1047) wrote:
...as for the poem, I must say that it kicks its own type of ass, as it appeals to me rather nicely; I also notice your use of language is more than just a few words, which I think is why some of us actual try to rhyme in the first place...
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On Wednesday, November 8, 2006, SilentStalker
(1047) wrote:
*actually* ...all in all, you did rather well with it, and I think some people might get pissed off at me, because I rarely comment on works anymore; ah well, when i find writes that interest me, I comment...
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On Wednesday, November 8, 2006, darth ren
(30) wrote:
well i am honored then
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On Tuesday, November 7, 2006, darth ren
(30) wrote:
i just recently added the third stanza, i felt that it was missing something, like there needed to be more struggle to get the darkness out. thanks for the comments guys
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A former member wrote:
Wow, This is an excellent write. I love your flow. Pure Talent. I love your third Stanza . ][ ][
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On Tuesday, November 7, 2006, Alanarchy
(1168) wrote:
"All of me, the darkness now contains" I don't normally like rhyme/structucre as much as I liked this one. Kudos for that. Write on, and welcome to darkpoetry.
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On Tuesday, November 7, 2006, wicked flesh
(22) wrote:
I loved the ending, it made the impact so much harder.