Lies at bed time

So there he lays in the middle of the night. Bangs of his hair drapped infront of his eyes. He chuckles to himself thinking 'this must be how a sheepdog feels' has he continues to try to get his hair to stay out of his eyes. Its 2:30 now. Sleep should of been had long ago since there is work to be had in only a few hours, but random things have kept him up. Trying to talk to his friend, but its not going anywhere. So there he lays browsing through the site. An Innocnet title is clicked upon.

Slowly and surely his heart is dragged down. It hurts. It shouldn't even matter to him. He knew... but even though he's aware... the brain doesn't want to believe. With each passing sentence only questions come to mind. None of them have awnsers he wants. Most of them he knows. He can feel his stomach turn to stone now. Utter disgust filling his system. His head falls to the bed and a strange feeling of numbness spreads through instead, infecting his entire body.

"I give up" he mutters to himself over and over constantly, blankly staring off into space. And has he closes his eyes a thought comes creeping into his head. 'When I close my eyes I see my heart inside your hands; when I open my eyes I see the blood thats all around; but if I dream; the let it be of the perfection of love, that does not exsist'.