Rites of Passage

By mysticventures

two young boys dance rythmically around a raging fire


half naked, sweat gleaming off their heaving chests


they dance on




as their younger brother keeps a frenzied beat


on a home-made drum made of human flesh


they dance on




until the charred and blackened ashes of their father


scatter in the night's wind like dying fireflys


they dance on


Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2004 mysticventures
Published on Wednesday, September 8, 2004.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "Rites of Passage"

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  • mysticventures On Wednesday, November 3, 2004, mysticventures (538)By person wrote:

    naw, just a primitive fantasy piece! still it's one of my favorites :)

  • elisa On Tuesday, October 12, 2004, elisa (1616)By person wrote:

    this reminds me of the never ending cry of mankind...where the proof of a soul comes with so much heartache... nice:) elisa

  • A former member wrote: i love the image that this painted in my mind.. i really do. fabulous, i really like this

  • Mr King On Sunday, September 12, 2004, Mr King (547)By person wrote:

    I see... Life itself.... You are indeed a master of symbolism! 1,Seth

  • A former member wrote: I liked this alot. You were able to get a point across with very few words. Painted a picture in my mind. I enjoyed reading it.

  • A former member wrote: Reminds me of my OA initiation in the scouts.

  • mysticventures On Saturday, September 11, 2004, mysticventures (538)By person wrote:

    thank you Anth *feels humbled*

  • Anth On Saturday, September 11, 2004, Anth (1133)By person wrote:

    what you captured here,behind the words is awesome,the grand meanings,in each verse,im very impressed,directly to the very core of things,a kind of reverance expressed here too

  • Anth On Saturday, September 11, 2004, Anth (1133)By person wrote:

    yeah, i really love this,one of your best

  • A former member wrote: You know, Mystic? This poem reminds me of a story I wrote called SKINS AND BONES. Perhaps I will post it on DP so you may view it. ~Shane~

  • A former member wrote: I dont know, Its close. But all in all I think I like this version a tiny bit better. Tell you it got me to think, lol

  • mysticventures On Thursday, September 9, 2004, mysticventures (538)By person wrote:

    something wasn't quite right - had to make a change in this - couldn't sleep until I did -

  • lordshadow On Thursday, September 9, 2004, lordshadow (153)By person wrote:

    Imaginative and visual. One of my favorites.

  • DarkWolf On Thursday, September 9, 2004, DarkWolf (415)By person wrote:

    Seems ancient.. and primative. I liked it. -Michael

  • A former member wrote: wow this is great. man your good.

  • TheReap On Wednesday, September 8, 2004, TheReap (38)By person wrote:

    quite the imagination there dude!

  • ONEANDLONELY On Wednesday, September 8, 2004, ONEANDLONELY (117)By person wrote:

    Complete..and yet...left with questions...

  • A former member wrote: Hmmm wow. I do like this alot Mystic. Classic mystic write, lol gotta love it.

  • A former member wrote: I think it's just me, but this poem creeps me. In a strange way. Must be your words, and the way you composed it, so exceptionally, unusually interesting

  • Dayer On Wednesday, September 8, 2004, Dayer (162)By person wrote:

    it creeped me a bit as well, but in a good way

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