Rites of Passage

By mysticventures

two young boys dance rythmically around a raging fire

half naked, sweat gleaming off their heaving chests

they dance on

as their younger brother keeps a frenzied beat

on a home-made drum made of human flesh

they dance on

until the charred and blackened ashes of their father

scatter in the night's wind like dying fireflys

they dance on

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.

Published on Wednesday, September 8, 2004. Filed under: "Poetry"

Comments on "Rites of Passage"

On Wednesday, November 3, 2004, mysticventures (527) wrote:

naw, just a primitive fantasy piece! still it's one of my favorites :)
On Tuesday, October 12, 2004, elisa (1595) wrote:

this reminds me of the never ending cry of mankind...where the proof of a soul comes with so much heartache... nice:) elisa
A former member wrote: i love the image that this painted in my mind.. i really do. fabulous, i really like this
On Sunday, September 12, 2004, Mr King (547) wrote:

I see... Life itself.... You are indeed a master of symbolism! 1,Seth
A former member wrote: I liked this alot. You were able to get a point across with very few words. Painted a picture in my mind. I enjoyed reading it.
A former member wrote: Reminds me of my OA initiation in the scouts.
On Saturday, September 11, 2004, mysticventures (527) wrote:

thank you Anth *feels humbled*
On Saturday, September 11, 2004, Anth (1126) wrote:

what you captured here,behind the words is awesome,the grand meanings,in each verse,im very impressed,directly to the very core of things,a kind of reverance expressed here too
On Saturday, September 11, 2004, Anth (1126) wrote:

yeah, i really love this,one of your best
A former member wrote: You know, Mystic? This poem reminds me of a story I wrote called SKINS AND BONES. Perhaps I will post it on DP so you may view it. ~Shane~
A former member wrote: I dont know, Its close. But all in all I think I like this version a tiny bit better. Tell you it got me to think, lol
On Thursday, September 9, 2004, mysticventures (527) wrote:

something wasn't quite right - had to make a change in this - couldn't sleep until I did -
On Thursday, September 9, 2004, lordshadow (153) wrote:

Imaginative and visual. One of my favorites.
On Thursday, September 9, 2004, DarkWolf (415) wrote:

Seems ancient.. and primative. I liked it. -Michael
A former member wrote: wow this is great. man your good.
On Wednesday, September 8, 2004, TheReap (38) wrote:

quite the imagination there dude!
On Wednesday, September 8, 2004, ONEANDLONELY (114) wrote:

Complete..and yet...left with questions...
A former member wrote: Hmmm wow. I do like this alot Mystic. Classic mystic write, lol gotta love it.
A former member wrote: I think it's just me, but this poem creeps me. In a strange way. Must be your words, and the way you composed it, so exceptionally, unusually interesting
On Wednesday, September 8, 2004, Dayer (162) wrote:

it creeped me a bit as well, but in a good way