The Middle

I’m naked

I’m exposed

I’m in danger

There’s no protection



I lay out too much

For you to take

I’m now regretting

My careless mistake



Please, do not leave

Suffering will become my only company

And I will have no strength

Stay, and be all my clothing

I’m kneeling down on the floor

And I beg of you, my dearest darling

Come back, I need your sweet comfort

Come

And be my consolation



Tears stream down now

Reflecting memories,

Memories of a time that should be forgotten,

Memories that unlock my knees

Bringing me to the ground;

Cement clashing against skin and bone



I taste raw and sour

Too overcooked

Disgustingly bitter

A taste rejected by all



I am a smell

no-one dares inhale

A monster

no-one claims to see

A lost cause

A hopeless soul

My hand has been let go of

And I’m screaming

For your needed help



I’m caught in the middle

of a long spinning path

Shall I go right …

where I will open and reveal my chained up soul,

and tell you all I’ve seen and done?

Shall I go right …

and allow you to love me,

and in return allow myself to love you back?

Shall I go right …

where your embrace will be my greatest desire,

and at the same time my greatest fear will be

the minute you let go?

Shall I go right …

where your touch will be

my favorite physical bond,

where your sweet kisses will melt away

all my sorrow and pain?



Or should I go left

where loneliness will take me in

feeding me all the empty holes

that will drain my body of all trace of happiness?

Shall I go left …

where I will be safe,

safe from risks of getting hurt,

safe from the consequences of my great vulnerability?

Shall I go left,

where misery will grab me with her greedy hands

and create a great big stone layer

over my heart?



Shall I go left …

where I will be able to say

“better safe than sorry”,

where I won’t need to depend

on anyone,

where worrying

about a lovers warmth and company

will be no worry to me at all?

where I will be drenched

in my own hard earned

Independence?



Right or Left

Left or Right

Caught in between

this de-si-cion



This decision

that marks

my fate

This decision

that I must make



Too many thoughts

Too much pressure

I’ll sit here

and play with my hair,

right smack in the middle

of Left and Right ...