My Loving Hate

 Through  my closed eyes, there he lays engulfed in the sad colors of my once great love. Every lie it's own color and every secret wreaking of its own stench. The earth you lay on pulsating to bury you beneath its cold soil caressing your guilt. Let me gaze on your perfectly decapitated words by the fires of my beautiful rage. Emotions and fine lines swirling as two tongues never satisfied, constantly demanding more of the other.
Honor and betrayal blurred by frozen egos, heated by my desperate gasps for air and echoed screams of blasphemous traditions that point their fingers. "Breathe my sickened fever and let us walk". I reach for your hand of false promises still shining its golden finger as we walk through the dimmed corridors of our creation. Marvelously carved columns of hieroglyphs telling on you. They taunt looking down and shouting of our jaded, abused and beaten love you've ordered. Miles of  angry columns and cracked marbled floors we trample upon..
Your delusional misconceptions distorted and eaten by the vampires that feed on your own self loving cynicism. Leaving no room for what once was innocent. A weak and spoiled man you are, disgusting to behold and yet you feel like home in all its wilds and wrongdoings. These cursed words dripping from your hurtful lips, saliva mixing with my salted anger that streams down my toiled face.
​
I mimic your sins in reply and gain terrifying black wings that carry me over the open plains of my revenged convictions. Black feathers gently fall from nighted skies onto greedy grounds. And i receive you still with my loving hate.
A rape of my emotions, straddled, forced and held down by his addicted indecencies. Exhaustion, sweat and unrest fuels this gray, black, pale white valley we sink in together.  It's mountainous walls of caved secrets known and unknown luring the fooled victim with it's stolen treasures. We intertwine once more in another unforgiven embrace. Let us sleep and dream another night in this bed soaking with our love, misery and hidden regrets.

Ssshhhh....do you hear the moonlight disappearing my dying love?
My quiet strength avoids the sun, who's light make true these reminders of daggers puncturing and protruding from my chest. The very chest I lovingly cradled your child in now glistens. Drenched with heated scarlet, I welcome the droplets of lovely red, if it is able to replace these sounds of shattering and breaking pounding in my ears.
​ My eyes weaken and my sword is lowered. My strength to keep my vision seeing the living is so weighted. I close these beautiful eyes that bares witness to your deceits. Aaahhh yes.....the colors of my sadness I see once again. Close your eyes and see what you have painted for all to rebuke, then claim your title as creator of this hated Love I have for only you....