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The Cautious Man - Sonnet 4
By Delphoid-Q
I am the cautious man – the foolish man –
Forever waiting for my fortune’s turn.
With tender hand I sculpt my life-long plan
And watch the present in obsession burn.
When aught goes wrong I wail o’er my fate
And shake my fist at any who will brake –
Then do I on others’ sympathy wait
For what right have I to make a mistake?
Yet now I see my folly as it is:
The poor ranting of a spoilt child
Not content with the bounty that is his
Whilst adding to the vices highly piled.
I see my life is wrong and hope to change
By adding fruitful virtues to my range.
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
Copyright 2003 Delphoid-Q
Published on Sunday, September 7, 2003.
Filed under:
"Poetry"
Comments on "The Cautious Man - Sonnet 4"
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A former member wrote:
Well, this is the first of your four that I would call a sonnet, the rhyme scheme in the others was right, but I guess you found out about meter for this one? Being somewhat critical I know-
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A former member wrote:
In the third stanza, the middle two lines just drag a bit because the meter is a little off. A suggestion/example of perfect iambic pentameter- line 3 in that stanza could be 'Unhappy with the bounty that is his'
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A former member wrote:
Always alternate stressed and unstressed syllables, unless you are playing with meter to a purpose. Glad to see another person that has some gumption to delve into the poetic 'scene' and history beyond dp. :)
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A former member wrote:
...many copliments on my works are greatly appreciated. feel free, at any time to add criticism as well. thanks, and keep up the good work...
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A former member wrote:
wow...i love it when a poem expresses what i would like to say but cannot for whatever reason. check out poem"excuses" by Bukowski. your poem-the first stanza is brilliant and the end(your fragile parts exposed) is quite a punch of eloquence. your many co
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On Monday, June 28, 2004, aXe FactoR
(335)
wrote:
beautifully written. -MeL-
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A former member wrote:
Very beautifully written. I know that I sometimes get so wrapped up in my future endeavors that I forget to enjoy what I've accomplished in the now. Very well done. ~Urban Shipwreck~
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On Friday, September 26, 2003, Aurora_Light
(472) wrote:
i'm not sure what to sat to this great job i do believe who have found something few do never stop writeing
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On Monday, September 15, 2003, Loneal
(86) wrote:
... very honest ... and great rhythm! Lol! =) I'm still trying to figure out this sonnet thing that you seem to be light years ahead of me on. ;) ... ~L
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On Friday, September 12, 2003, Crystal Passion
(221) wrote:
Wow totally blew this lil girl away.
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On Monday, September 8, 2003, GreekPhilosopher
(156) wrote:
Ahhh... At Long Last. So: Im Glad Your Doing The Pondering And i See That You Still Doing The Sonnet Thing. Great Write... Because I Know. It Must Be Said, However, That The Rhyme Flow Is A Bit Off... But Thats Just Nit-Picking. Yay. GPhD.
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