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The Baby Mouse
By devilsrighthand
My Heart was like a small, baby mouse.
You were like the Talon
of a great golden eagle.
Whenever you wanted something from me,
you would squeeze with your vice like grip.
Getting whatever you
wanted from me.
I did anything, I did everything.
Until
that day where you slid your razor sharp claw across the innocent babies
throat,
spilling every drop of its blood.
You played with
it too roughly.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And you broke it.
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
Copyright 2013 devilsrighthand
Author's Note:
This was something I came up within about 30 secondsAwards
Comments on "The Baby Mouse"
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On Wednesday, April 25, 2018, carlosjackal
(3014)
wrote:
Absolutely savage metaphor that doesn't hold back in the pursuit of telling an unflinching truth.
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On Wednesday, October 16, 2013, Fallenfromgrace
(104) wrote:
I was adopted but my biological parents were always in my life, My mother is like the eagle to me... once again, Great write.
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A former member wrote:
mice are cute. *gives your heart a full body cast* it'll be better in no time. this is good, royce. interesting choice of metaphor, thoroughly explored. potent feeling.
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On Wednesday, March 20, 2013, Ravenblade
(313) wrote:
This takes me back to a much younger, angrier part of my life...sometimes its good to reminisce...perhaps this is just what I needed.
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A former member wrote:
Amazing and short you really came up within 30 seconds?
good work and wonderful write love the use of the baby mouse and the eagle
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A former member wrote:
Well this poem just resounds in my head over and over, I love the metaphors and the fact you described the way that people with power or people that are plain ff ups treat others....indeed a talon of an eagle.
Great piece, really enjoyed reading it!
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On Wednesday, February 27, 2013, BetaWolfinVA
(795) wrote:
Loved this... love the metaphore... well executed
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On Wednesday, February 27, 2013, Dei
(665) wrote:
awe. Poor mouse heart. This was adorable and vicious and sad all at once.
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A former member wrote:
i like it i like the flow the metphore is a good one see you shouldn't doubt yourself becase you are good i look forward to more by you
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