You were here, I was happy
Now you're gone, I am sad.
I'm feeling kind of crappy
I hope that makes you glad.

You are gone, gone, gone
And I have an empty bed.
You moved on, on, on
With my kung fu teacher Ted.
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I have drown in an Asian pool of fantasy
I am student, you are master, can't you see?

Daggers in my back from Fu Manchu
I had life, I had love, Ted had you.

Cut down by a series of propaganda
My love was thrashed by a kung fu panda.

You chopped me down like a Bruce Lee clone
When you left me here all alone.
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And if that ain't enough, let me tell you what!

I hope...
your tires blow out
your car blows up
your waist fills out
your weight goes up
your credit runs out
your rates go up
the dog walks out
and crime goes up.
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But what really angers me most is...
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No more karate lessons from Ted.
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"Everybody is kung fu fighting..."