A lot has changed since the last time I sat down to write at DarkPoetry. New computer, new divorce and remarriage, new town, new life. I began writing here when I was barely a teenager, and now I find it funny that I decided to join the ranks again when i'm barely a teenager again. Life has a weird way of coming full circle (if you don't mind the cliche). I thought by this time in my life I would finally have it figured out and become the woman I always wanted to be. I suppose I have become that woman, but I am far from figuring anything out. I've just ended a 4 year relationship with a wonderful man but found my soul mate in the war zone. He keeps my head on my shoulders when I want to do the honors of ripping it off myself. I lost my best friend in the world to her own stubbornness and selfishness; i think this event more than anything has torn apart my world. She killed my spirit and my family and I still love her. Fuck, I wish my heart would harden up a bit. However, I'm now in this new and amazing stage in my life where i'm on my own in a new city, going to a great college with great people. I should have it all figured out. I should have left all my shit behind, but here I am. I'm having to frantically sketch words on this computer so my mind can have a rest for a minute. Let the blood out of my skull so it won't explode. I'm just glad that I have an outlet. Where would so many of us be without this website that takes me back to my gothic teenage years that are so far behind me but still so much a part of me. I think i'll always be a bit of that girl with the short, chopped hair and black makeup, resenting mom for never being home or paying bills. Now thats what I call the real American Girl.  

Stargaze is back DarkPoetry and she has a whole new array or shit to let out, plus a few writing classes under her belt.