In fifteen long years, I've experienced the various epitomes that are supposed to constitute our human experience; angry, sorrow, confustion, bliss, content, depression, you name it. These emotions we have, induced by our enviroment and our psyche, constitute our whole world. Certainly, there is much more to experience than that which we can only know through our senses, but can we as humans accept that? That there's so much more we don't know, but can't?
Humans are different from any other animal on this planet due simply to the fact that we are sentient. Not to say other life forms on this planet arn't, anyone with a dog or cat will tell you animals think and feel, but people are the only ones that examine themselves. We look at ourselves from outside, as if perceiving through someone elses eyes. We are born and raised believing in society that's taken thousands of years to develop, born believing that in order to have a 'good life', we must follow in the footsteps of hundreds of generations of predecessors.
Is anyone else but me more than slightly disturbed that from the moment we draw our first breath, life is simply an inevidable series of events? We're born, we grow, our bodies change and our minds evolve from one of pure instint, like nursing and breathing while sleeping, to one of terrifying proportions and potency. I feel that it is our duty as humans to emancipate ourselves from the mental chains we dawn upon our initiation to society. Everyone of us individualy manifests our own reality through our senses, that which we can see and taste, hear and smell, touch and know that it is there and it is real. Our realities can be distorted, we drawn our concept of the world as it should be from our first experiences of it when we're children. If one is raised in a hostile and twisted enviroment, surrounded by twisted people, they know no better. It's a cruel joke of fate, to be imprisoned in the reality others have built for them and exsist in a world that is nothing like they perceive.
I feel like life took some horrible turn, some thousand years ago, where people put themselves and their children in the mindset that we currently live in today. After childhood, we're obligated to attend school, then we have the option of college, which really isn't an option. Those who don't go to college are unfairly seen as failures. They're not the ones that secure that bomb ass paying job. Money is what life's all about! We spend all our lives trying to accumulate more of it, and then once we die we leave our life-long work to our loved ones, so that they can do the same thing. It's not fair, but it keeps society together.
Society is a fragile thing, that everyone must play their part in to keep it together. As individuals, we accomplish nothing. Our singular identites mean nothing in the vast expanse of the world and beyond, we all mesh in together as part of a whole of the human race. I don't want my individual spark to dim next to the glow of a collective society. I want to stay an individual, I want to live my life as an individual, accomplishing my own goals I don't yet have because all my life I've been trained to believe all I should want is a career. I want more than that, I want life.
Imprisioned the way we are, I'll never experience it. The most frustrating part of it is not the inevidability and monotony of it all, it's that I don't know the jailer that incarcerates us. If we were all liberated from ourselves, where would we seek refuge? What more is there than what we as people experience? A return to the natural world would simply result in a recession to the stone age, and evolution would simply start itself over again. What the hell was evolution thinking when it gave man the ability to say "I am here, and I look stupid." The bumbling caveman was more than likely content with his grunts of communication and simply lifestyle. What right did whatever power that bestowed thought on us have to take that away from him?
I'm sorry if my rant has you all in a more depressed mood than you were before you read this, but me saying this is merely a formality at this point. I'm not trying to undermine life, or to say there's no point, but I'm asking what it is. This is just my way of asking, "What's the meaning of life?" I would bet that it's all revealed to us, but to late where we'd be able to utilize the information. At death, we'll know what we SHOULD have done, and we'll regret it. Another useless human emotion.