Phobia

This is someting I wrote a long time ago...
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She tried to look away,
He grabbed her by the chin.
Who messed you up sweets?
He made her face him again.

Her eyes were stinging,
She couldn’t speak.
Tears weren’t allowed.
They show you are weak.

He hadn’t wanted her.
He wanted to stay friends!
She can’t do that….
She prefers a clean end.

He asks if she’ll be there,
As she has in the past.
Her answer was “Probably not…”
She wants to be over him fast.

Her rules, her restrictions,
She constantly hides.
Her fears, her defenses,
But she refuses to lie.

He looks away first,
Eyes angry and bitter.
He hadn’t thought of her as a coward,
He never saw her as a quitter.

Time is passing,
The silence, it hurts!
She just can’t do it.
She can’t leave first.

Do you think that I’ll leave you?
Do you think I don’t care?
She looks away from him.
It really wasn’t fair.

People love you!
Don’t toss them away!
But everyone leaves her.
No matter what they say.

So he’d figured it out,
Her secret, her pain.
Her worries and fears,
It all leaves her drained.

He tried to pull her close,
Did everything to reassure her,
But nothing he said,
Would ever secure her.

He would leave her,
As they always did.
So attachments were useless,
And she learned to forbid.

She built up walls,
Until she couldn’t so much as feel.
And she locked herself up,
Because no one was real.

She told him goodbye,
A final embrace.
She said she’d see him eventually,
Another time and place.

He said she was wrong,
Soon is what she should’ve said….
Eventually was more honest.
She just shook her head.

She was unable to love,
That much he had learned,
He wanted to be loved.
That much he had earned.

She needs to change,
Or she’ll be left behind.
And her loneliness will build,
Line after line.