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If I Had A Gun, I Would Use It.
By Huey Lewis
The valley sinks to a bitter low
Thoughts are swelling and the clock is broke
A kind reminder that the calender missed a page
The water pours from a paper cut
The earth below seems to eat it up
It's burning up while the sun takes it away
The later part of another day
The first part of what you want to say
Don't stop now
You know you don't know the best part's coming
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
© 2009 Greenan
Comments on "If I Had A Gun, I Would Use It."
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A former member wrote:
Really Good.
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On Wednesday, June 3, 2009, Malice In Wonderland
(987)
wrote:
not bad...
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On Wednesday, June 3, 2009, Nixx
(240) wrote:
i'd have to say it was the title that got my attention to start with. nicely done
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On Wednesday, May 20, 2009, Enough
(17) wrote:
This is a great write, I love the way it flows so easily when I read it out loud... And the way it kept me thinking... love the last line.
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On Monday, May 18, 2009, Carmina Gitana
(149) wrote:
I really like the ambiguity of the last line. (At least, I read ambiguity there :)
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On Sunday, May 17, 2009, Alanarchy
(1200) wrote:
Reminds me of bourbon and dust. Great tones. Write on, skillet. I'll be reading. Peace.
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On Sunday, May 17, 2009, Mylissa
(845) wrote:
The imagery is beautiful and I enjoyed how it flowed as well. It seems you are pulling on your emotions and placing them in words beautifully. Wonderful!
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A former member wrote:
The last line's a real corker.I'd like to think the best part has yet to come; damn you for telling me otherwise! I like how it builds up momentum right at the end...these snippets of imagery meld together beautifully, but part of me feels like each stanza is its own separate island of unease.
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On Sunday, May 17, 2009, Leith Plunkett
(239) wrote:
Love the way this plays with the mind. The imagery is beautiful.
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A former member wrote:
Fuckin eh, dude, this is why your one of my favs. Your shit never fails to get the mind spinnin and adrenaline pumpin. keep rockin the shitstorm.
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