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Sweet dreams
By Ashteroth
Firstly just gotta say I've read about 200 poems lately and I'm gettin
a lil paranoid, so if this work sounds to similar to anyone else just let
me know. It shouldn't be, but could filter through subconscious or something...
(That happen to any one else?) but it is what's in my heart so here goes.
When the evenings done
and night has come
my sleep is never quick or calm
I wake up with nowhere to run
with the inner demons fading scream
then just like "Once upon a dream"
my mind becomes a silver screen,
some sleeping beauty's waking scene
...and we would walk along the river
hand in hand we surely stroll
pick the flowers that I give her
holding up her parasol
and profess eternal love
to which we firmly hold
if I could pluck the stars above
they'd be ever hers to hold
Then when the day is done
we venture home
a cottage midst the trees
I'd make a meal
we'd talk all night
and make love as we please
get to know her well
and share our hearts
lay together in the breeze
make a family
raise them well
but these are only my day dreams.
(P.S. will be shattered if they are like anyone else so be kind about it)
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
© 2009 Ashteroth
Comments on "Sweet dreams"
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On Monday, March 11, 2013, BetaWolfinVA
(795)
wrote:
beautiful, i hope the one you love sees this... the one i love does not come here ...
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On Sunday, March 10, 2013, Star
(919) wrote:
this is beautiful, made me smile the whole way through.. wow.. well done, i need to read some more of you, (:
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On Sunday, March 10, 2013, Ashteroth
(192) wrote:
Thanks angel, I was unsure about this piece when I wrote it cuz its not my usual style but glad it made you smile :) ~Ash
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On Monday, January 26, 2009, Echoes of Orpheus
(359) wrote:
When it comes to writing romance, it really is hard not to say something not said before, it's all in the manner it's presented and you got that right here. I enjoyed the read, write on.
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On Thursday, January 22, 2009, Ashteroth
(192) wrote:
Thanx again everyone. Yeah bit cliche but isn't every story eventually in some way. Just so happens that sleeping beauty was one of my fave stories when I was a kid. And the song once upon a dream, I was the kind dag that sorta believed it might turn out that way. ;-)
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On Thursday, January 22, 2009, snakeskingrin
(59) wrote:
DUDE this is exactly like...just kiddin :) cool stuff actually..kind of a life-journey kind of thing.
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On Thursday, January 22, 2009, sixsixnine
(477) wrote:
I like the way this feels. It is simply honest without amplifying emotions or making too much of anything. I like it.
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A former member wrote:
I thought it was quite lovely, ... if only we could wish our daydreams to life:) ...but sometimes....we can if we never stop reaching for what we want. ~Rain
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On Thursday, January 22, 2009, Sketso
(435) wrote:
dare I say... and no offense is intended at all... it hit me like a wheelbarrel full of cliche bricks. The thoughts were nice, and I doubt anyone would claim theft, as the thoughts are pretty much universally felt. The first 2 stanzas were nicely done, although the 2nd one destroyed my hopes for an atypical rhyme scheme. I was elated thinking you were gonna run with an "aaba ccbc" scheme there for a second. ;) That's just me though. The ending provided a nice twist, ensuring the write as a whole belongs on a dark poetry site, killing all the happy happy joy thoughts with the fact that it was all just daydreaming.
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On Thursday, January 22, 2009, Sketso
(435) wrote:
all in all, it's surprising in a good sense, as it's an attempt outside of your normal works/style, and that means you're stretching/growing/progressing! *applause*
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