something bigger than a hospital room
By disposable
dedicated to ian~who loved my laugh
i enjoyed washing my hands
with the individually wrapped sponge provided
was ok to see all the beeping equipment
even returned his smile
he explained of things in his heart
told of samples and shots
even joked about his pink belt in chemo
i listened and thought of me
until he smiled
without his teeth
while the love of his life looked worn in the corner
life did not exist out there
like i once thought
it wasnt the bills
the carwash
laundry
it was all in here
in this place of antiseptic brick
and antibacterial glass
these delivering tubes
and sterile thoughts
it was a place of matters
of true needs
authentic hopes
and i cried
felt naive and selfish
looked out from the ninth floor
until the moment faded
but not in my mind
nor ever
in my heart
Comments on "something bigger than a hospital room"
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A former member wrote:
mmmm. this speaks to me truth beyond roles, beyond chores... captures the universal equalizer.. the leveling of all the trivialities, the exposure of how the world shrinks, how so much really needs questioned. very emotional, very touching read.
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On Tuesday, December 2, 2008, Echoes of Orpheus
(359) wrote:
Superb flow, some of these pieces with the only punctuation being line breaks simply work, and this did perfectly. Write on.
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On Tuesday, November 25, 2008, Leith Plunkett
(239) wrote:
this really makes you assess things. (in this place of antiseptic brick and antibacterial glass these delivering tubes and sterile thoughts)These lines really bring make the walls close in. a lovely tribute.
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On Saturday, November 22, 2008, freudian-slip
(239) wrote:
this mimics the sound of the heart beating, and you can't really top that.
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On Saturday, November 22, 2008, Believer
(48) wrote:
this is touching and thought provoking. to live like that..you portrayed this very well.
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On Friday, November 21, 2008, urbanhumility
(1175) wrote:
a selfless response to a insightful person.....humility has weaved many thoughts through your words........well done
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A former member wrote:
Beautifully captured by the way,..your emotional backdraft started fires within my my own realm...
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A former member wrote:
You'll have to wait for that poetic comment miss:)..this deserves something very real and humane,...i also have had times of clarity, where all things we consider 'vital' in our smooth existence become very small and insignificant when confronted with moments of 'actual matter'...i dont know how this affected you?..but i become extremely melancholy inspired..and with a shamed tilt of head, i slide back to my responsibilities and life,...i think its a survival technique,..i hope so anyway,..other wise im simply self absorbed.