I swear people will be the extinction of the human race - trying to replace natural stupid fuckin' selection with cyberspace.

Hell is what's wrong with me - and I'll be heaven sent to it.
Being drunk and high is what MAKES me FUNNY - wait a second, I'm a drunk, a psychopath, the conman - who the hell was the musician?

I was curious - because you never made those noises from that position...

Those arrows may be warped, but they still kill.
Perhaps you're right, my aim is not what it will.

No matter because in '96 the FDA gave US the pill - Viagra was born and a playing field got leveled - even Bob Dole's on it - son the devil!

So why foreclose now, honey?
I'm so far in debt, why not refinance?

Do you think your luck will improve with a fresh bet?

It's be the same just like before. The nice guys pick up the check. I get to score...

My digital competition? Let's not talk math - they're a bunch of clones.
Do you really think if personality worked, if they had game, and 'character were the solution - after all this evolution, they'd be guys out here like me?

THIS LAME?!

Where do you think I got my genes from?
Wal-Mart or Levi's? These are Wranglers son!

In a perfect world, the real would lead to chemistry - but it don't and you can't change history.

Lookin' without buyin' - you know I love the lasses, watchin' you swish down that boulevard swingin' those sweet juicy asses?

Oh that wasn't for me? But then again, I still got to see...

We add to the cart, check-out and return - of course, that's nothing new. It's not the myth, it's whom we do it with.

The friend, the sitter, the confidant - 10 years ago, your sister, but she after 2 kids she's put on a lot...

The cyber-kind?

Now we don't even need to talk - It's called porn and it sitting in front of the computer with Jergens on my stalk...

Thank God for ERA - now I don't have to be the one to say "time to go 'hun, gotta early day" (MWAH)

Thanks so much for Grey's Anatomy!

It's not monopoly, it's all about wielding lust into trust.
If you only understood what we went through for that 2 minute bust...

If E-Harmony worked, wouldn't the Internet have more than just us perverts?