Comments by All Members
- "The message here is pretty clear, but the diction in the second to last line doesn't fit too well, I don't think, the "you" doesn't belong there, I don't think, other than that I like this, clean cut and direct, thanks for sharing :)"
Posted by HeadpatSlut on "rubbernecker" by eidos
- "some people seem to be heavily influenced by the opinion of their friends...often to their own detriment...the title caught my eye , it was one of my Dad's often used words for less than bright onlookers , stickybeaks and tourists generally :P"
Posted by kinkifrog on "rubbernecker" by eidos
- "Very good write! I like the simplicity you used in this. I like also how you told a story of the 'doing something only if you'll get recognized for doing it', keep it up! I like your style,"
Posted by Unknown on "rubbernecker" by eidos
- "Very short, very sweet, very touching. Immortality, like every thing in this world we strive for, has its cost. The question is, what would you pay, and for how long. Excellently wrought. "
Posted by Unknown on "the problem with immortality" by eidos
- "There is something about the blunt simplicity of your words that strike a chord in my chest. This is the last of the butterflies fluttering on an empty stomache, the stain of ink and sweat, an unimaginable longing. Thank you for letting us be a part of it."
Posted by Unknown on "falling sheets." by eidos
- "This is often the case in reality. It's always better to use words that build others up and in so doing you build yourself also. Nice write ~Ash"
Posted by Ashteroth on "foaming at the mouth." by eidos
- "I like the dream vs reality dichotomy... and the sexual suggestion that comes with 'tasting'... the thoughtful reflecting tone... and the melancholy atmosphere it creates. I think there's opportunity for chiasmus... and I'd like that last line, the lying there alone, to have more impact, but otherwise... I enjoyed the calm consideration of this. thanks."
Posted by The Dybbuk on "falling sheets." by eidos
- "hits straight to the heart easily... a retrospect tinted with regret perhaps or just a truth admitted quietly instead of shouted in aggravation... it holds much for a concise piece...nicely done"
Posted by NikesRain on "the sound of standing still." by eidos
- "This is powerfully truthful; I learned the hard way. Your wording is so concise and clear, intelligent and profound. Much praise~"
Posted by Unknown on "foaming at the mouth." by eidos
- "short and simple but so much meaning in so few words.. thanks for sharing!
"
Posted by Unknown on "fabricated." by eidos
- "I wish we could all be so lucky. Nicely presented, tragic and romantic the way i like it. "
Posted by Dei on "fabricated." by eidos
- "guess you arent a fan of the ancient and widely respected poetic form of haiku then?
mr. All Alone person. "
Posted by Dei on "fabricated." by eidos
- "it's like 'putting your foot in your mouth' expression...or 'careful what you say for you may have to eat your words after'. very clever!"
Posted by natalie on "foaming at the mouth." by eidos
- ".....because you feared she would cease to exist if your eyes remained open...'she' being a much desired optical illusion perhaps? awesome write as always!"
Posted by natalie on "out of sight." by eidos
- "wow! like the air being sucked out of your universe... excellent!"
Posted by natalie on "epiphany" by eidos
- "i took this to mean that the former mentioned, did not consider them self worthy of the love of the latter. and that such love would surely lead to pain. "
Posted by natalie on "unlucky is an understatement" by eidos
- "you sir, are the maestro of minimalist art! You rock!"
Posted by natalie on "jig-zag" by eidos
- "I'm not sure if I should laugh at this comment or be sad, because this is what I've noticed around this place."
Posted by eidos on "fabricated." by eidos
- "yes, it is funny how time can seem like an eternity when we are waiting, and like it has wings when we wish it to go slowly. this was perfectly put! thanks Eidos."
Posted by natalie on "the years between." by eidos
- "This is fantastically done. It trembles itself to sleep, it exhausts itself but in a most satisfactory way of providing the reader with understanding. It has the ouroboros effect for me, that limbo that knows how to form yet knows not how to break.... it's persistent in its hope and its own destruction....if only such thing was as gratifying in life as it was on poetry. Who had said that pain and suffering lasts about as long as we can handle. If so, I certainly wish we were weak and incapable of such thing. Really well done, thank you for this!"
Posted by La Leah le on "fabricated." by eidos
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