Comments by All Members
- "You should break it down into paragraphs, it would be easier to follow; also, have the text aligned on the left. You have a lot of repetitions too, which could be left out (like the several references to the Treaty of Versailles in a few lines). Hope this helps!"
Posted by Velvet_Raventon on "Homework Essay" by Pureheartless
- "this is so trippy to read. while reading it i felt i was watching it. i like the words in between. it is different to me to read it this way, but i absolutely enjoyed it.
"
Posted by Unknown on "Medicated Mental Friction" by Pureheartless
- "Apples, reminds me of sin ( thanks to genesis connotation, then again apple was never mentioned...anyway!) "the cats are fighting I wouldn't seperate them"- this is a crucial line to the poem, i love it.
There are a few typos, but overall I love the title, the body and the ending. Lovely :)"
Posted by Kaleidoscope_Heart on "apples and smiles" by Pureheartless
- "first two stanzas were really good. not being effected by the looks, having control and choosing. courage. 'i wont hide...' the rhythm was great. the last two seemed slightly off to me. but they were still good if i read them seperate. overall i like."
Posted by RubyXero on "Untitled" by Pureheartless
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