papercuts soothe me

Pouring alcohol on papercuts
to take a little of the focus
off my breaking heart
i`ve stitched my mouth smileward
hoping you wont notice
how artificial sincerity can be
praying you wont hear the screams
echoing through my laughter
when it gets offkey

my nerves are stretched to the breaking point
pulse pounding aggravation
trying to pose in ways
that would make you
proud of me
legs spread
no dignity

smile pretty for the camera
nobody ever sees the cracks
i`ve put on so much makeup
it looks like a mask

i just want you to think
i`m as beautiful as my poetry

i pasted glitter in my eyes
since the stars you use to put there
have crashed and burned

its easy to pretend your someone else
when it`s all you`ve ever done
but it`s getting harder by the day
since the real me
keeps slipping through the slices
i inflict on myself

i would use a razor
but that ruins the charade
and i dont want you to see me
BREAKDOWN
it might destroy the
perfection
i`ve faked so hard to achieve

Damnit i wish you just
loved me for me