A Screaming sea-gull.. she cries.. she cries
By Tania
I fell in love at harbour bay…
Where broken grey skies wavered over all day..
the Sea-weed speckled shore line caught my eye
As the up-heaving ocean came to rise
Our crumbling footsteps they slowly died..
A screaming sea-gull she cried ..she cried
A String of bobbing buoys lay dead at sea
Chained to the seabed.. Swaying helplessly..
As I looked to the jagged cliffs that lay in the near
My lover in hand led me to the abandoned pier
As each wave crashed.. the next it died
A screaming sea-gull she cried… she cried
Surrounded by rocks that lay so corrupt
Eternally tormented by the oceans lust
a cool salty breeze cast herself into a gust
like an alluring mist throwing her cuss
And as I looked into my lovers eyes..
A screaming sea-gull she cried.. She cried
I fell in love at harbour bay..
Where broken grey skies wavered over all day..
And as I head down to the shore line once more
With only these salt wounds left to adore,
I look to the ocean and how livid she lies..
As a screaming sea-gull she cries.. she cries..
*Im unsure as to wether i like this or not..so any feedback OR criticism
is Welcome*
Thank you!
Comments on "A Screaming sea-gull.. she cries.. she cries"
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On Monday, March 19, 2007, Disassembly Boy
(59) wrote:
this was beautifully sad.
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A former member wrote:
"With only these salt wounds left to adore" This has a lovely emotive feel, and it flows as the grey oceans or those "screaming sea-gull"s you describe. It is lyrical, vivid & quite lovely (I luv the repetitions within). Well done.
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On Thursday, February 22, 2007, LOKI
(161) wrote:
I liked it.The imagery with the ocean.The passion for your lover.This was an amazing write.Im faving it.
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On Saturday, February 24, 2007, Tania
(192) wrote:
:)
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On Thursday, February 22, 2007, prettydisgrace
(93) wrote:
i thought it was great too.. you got mail :)
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A former member wrote:
I thought it was great. Don't be so hard on yourself
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On Wednesday, February 21, 2007, GraveFlower
(240) wrote:
wow, thats real good...........nice~*dani*~
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On Wednesday, February 21, 2007, Mylissa
(825) wrote:
I absolutely love this. I think the flow, the style, and the words are wonderful.
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On Wednesday, February 21, 2007, Bella Butchery
(696) wrote:
i love posts about oceans/ocean settings, doesnt matter what emotions they envoke, it always seems to make them float in an endless current, bravo kiddo!
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A former member wrote:
I love the sea-gull imagery...actually, I love ALL the imagery, but "as a screaming sea-gull she cries..she cries.." hits something deep within me. Excellent piece. ~*Beth*~
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A former member wrote:
well, even if you're undecided, I enjoyed it. The flow worked for me, as did your rythm... good write