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A Bad Goodbye
By darth ren
It lurked in the shadows
It took her by surprise
It found a way into her heart
With love as it's disguise
It waited there idol
For the perfect time to strike
It drained from her all she had
Left her with no fright
She had no tears to cry
Had no blood to bleed
The only thing left, to die
This was her only need.
Fearless there she stood
Atop this place so high
And there she took her one last step
She forgot to say goodbye.
notes: i wrote this a few years ago and just recently found my old notebook,
so ill be posting some more of my older work i guess!
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
© 2006 darth ren
Comments on "A Bad Goodbye"
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On Friday, June 20, 2008, Bluegirl
(177)
wrote:
This has excellent flow. ;) Nice job!
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On Wednesday, November 8, 2006, wicked flesh
(22) wrote:
That was a very good poem. Structure does make poetry nice...although I personally don't do it very often. XD
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A former member wrote:
I loved the third section best. ~Silver~
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On Wednesday, November 8, 2006, SilentStalker
(1047) wrote:
...the rhyme is almost head on, which is good for us poets, and the rhythm is damn near perfect as well; I also niticed that you kept the actual story going well, even with the restrictions of a rhyme scheme...
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On Wednesday, November 8, 2006, SilentStalker
(1047) wrote:
... these formatted writes suit my reading preferences precisely, and have me hoping that the writer strives to make the next even more immmaculate than the last...very well done on this...
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On Wednesday, November 8, 2006, SilentStalker
(1047) wrote:
...I enjoy reading such efforts; shows me that there are others that have a sense of structure in what they write...
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On Wednesday, November 8, 2006, darth ren
(30) wrote:
well if you like structure, my poem "shroud of darkness" is a lot better than this one i think
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A former member wrote:
nice done. dark. write. i liked it. made me smile.
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