The Apology Long Overdue

By Jaded Jezzabelle

I don't really know
how I let us get to this fucked up place
where we seem to be
and
I find it to be a sad disgrace
that I didnt know
I was driving you away
with all the tainted emotions
that I chose to show
causing you to dissapear
with out a trace
of the friend I used to see
always smiling back at me
if I could change the day
find some way
to take back all the mistakes I made
I would take back
all the shit I took forgranted
all the insane fits I threw
all the times I raved and ranted
and
all the wrong conclusions I drew
but
most of all
I wish I could undue
all the times I demanded
more of you
than you were able to give
I feel stranded
no way to get back
to the life I used to live
just when I thought it couldn't get any worse
everything exploded
blowing up in my face
What a fucking waste I have become
its almost perverse
the way I commanded you
to rescue me
when friends like you
have been so few to me
Is it too late for this apology
or
is it just not enough
to fix the damage
done to the friendship that we shared
is it torn
broken beyond repair
I'm so very sorry
I took advantage of you
and
all you've done for me
the times you took care of me
when I couldn't or wouldn't
take care of myself
Can you take your anger
put it up on a shelf
and
stop acting like a stranger
I promise you
give yo my word
I'll stop freaking out
I'll except yo as you are
and
I won't doubt you
or
your loyalty
I won't expect you to be here for me
every hour of every fucking day
Iam so ashamed
of the strain I must have put on you
and
I swear to god
I'll grow up
be stronger
Like I was before
I allowed my emotions to spill out on the floor
for every one to see
I promise
I no longer will depend on you
to always be at my door
and
I won't expect you to provide
every little thing I need
and
never again will I imply
that you haven't been a friend to me
or
that it was all about the money
I promise to snap out of this trance
stop playing the victim of circumstance
if you could just give me one more chance
to make things right between us

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2004 Jadedwings
Published on Sunday, January 18, 2004.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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  • A former member wrote: This is beautiful. Honest. I can relate. You mad me cry. Thank you.

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