Dirty Little Secret

I was unaware
that I should beware of kissing you
At first it was fun
like our own little game
You'd come over
we'd get spun and
fool around
No strings or expectations
but Ive found
that we've changed
We see things very differently
you and me
Not that I took things between us seriously
we were friends
you've been one of the best
So I guess I expected
to be different from the rest
To be more respected
for you to consider the effect
your actions may have on me
but I guess I neglected
to convey to you what I would and could accept
I didn't think
everything between us would change
That our friendship was in danger
or that Id have so much anger
and that we'd be on the brink
of losing it all
and becoming stangers
to eachother
Maybe I should have played it off
kept all this shit undercover
But Im no good at being deceptive or evasive
and its just not in me to be fake
or pretend
that my heart doesn't break
Every time I feel the sting
of being cast aside
I didn't intend
on being something you deny
I thought we were friends
not a meaningless fling
A toy
that with you won't admit you play
Do you not see or
do you think its ok
that every time you tuck me away
you destroy
my self esteem
I feel secluded
looked inside my room
Excluded
and consealed
like an offensive perfume
is how you make me feel
You took advantage of my effection
and used our connection
for your own personal gain
Does it amuse you
to know my prides been bruised
by your tendency to ignore me
You leave me crumbled and sore
my emotions in dissaray
out on the floor
What began as a game
that was a little bit risque
Has led to being treated like a whore
thats here to entertain you
You've become like Jekyll and Hide
You say that I'm insane
And no matter how many times I've tried
you won't let me explain
or even attempt to see my side
Are you exempt
from feeling anything
Or do you have that much contempt
for me and why
What have I done thats so wrong
besides not being quite as strong
as you expected
I feel disrespected
and have no idea how our friendship can remain intact
But its a fact
that I only have myself to blame
and its with some shame
that I regret and wish to forget
the day I became
Your dirty little secret


This is a follow up to "something real" funny how
quickly things can change when someone flips the script
on you. For U